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June 6, 2010 at 4:39 pm (This post was last modified: June 6, 2010 at 4:40 pm by Atheist_named_Christian.)
(June 6, 2010 at 12:32 pm)Paul the Human Wrote: I think you nailed it, Scented Nectar. Men are promiscuous by nature. Gay or straight... men tend to be promiscuous.
I think women are too - just differently. They tend to keep it secret, maybe because it's not well "received" by society to be promiscuous as a woman. On the other hand, men even notoriously exaggerate the number of sexual partners (most likely for the same reason).
At least all my girlfriends had had more boyfriends than I had had girlfriends… (although not statistically relevant - I'm not that promiscuous)
(June 6, 2010 at 4:39 pm)Atheist_named_Christian Wrote:
(June 6, 2010 at 12:32 pm)Paul the Human Wrote: I think you nailed it, Scented Nectar. Men are promiscuous by nature. Gay or straight... men tend to be promiscuous.
I think women are too - just differently. They tend to keep it secret, maybe because it's not well "received" by society to be promiscuous as a woman. On the other hand, men even notoriously exaggerate the number of sexual partners (most likely for the same reason).
At least all my girlfriends had had more boyfriends than I had had girlfriends… (although not statistically relevant - I'm not that promiscuous)
Although there is the biological argument: that men are more promiscuous because they have more "seed" to spread. Women need to be more selective because they have only so many opportunities to pass on their genes.
Of course, societal evolution can supersede the biological, so females may well be responding to new societal demands to be more promiscuous.
I vote for sexual mores, and promiscuity are learned. There has to be a certain animal side to it that can be called natural, but the societal, cultural, and personal preferences and wants of individuals is learned, in my opinion.
I am a man who is not promiscuous. I hate bringing this up, but when people say "all men are promiscuous" it makes me assume sadface. Does that make me less a man for not being able to consider women as one dimensional objects. I can't even have the thought "I'd fuck her" because it doesn't compute past the concept of her as an individual afforded whatever rights and freedoms I expect and demand for myself. I have always wondered if there is something wrong with me.
So I am celibate, literally. I spend my time pondering the nature of reality, and twanging away on assorted instruments. I could go to the bar and smile and have casual sex right now. It's almost midnight and I have the night off, so literally right now. I could rent a prositoot, but seriously, who does that. Now that makes you less a man. I could tell the girl I know that I will, as she says "walk her around the room in a collar" (whatever that could possibly mean) instead of chastising her for acting that way. I don't understand why everyone else acts like a monkey. As a drug addict I don't need any more unhealthy relationships with objects, and can see them from a mile away. And people aren't even objects... That's what makes it unhealthy.
So either all men are not promiscuous, or I am but a mouse.
reminds me of how i've heard some guys and girls say 'guys/girls are dogs. i'm going to become a homosexual.' well, sorry to break it to ya but swinging/cheating exists in homosexual relationships too.
(June 6, 2010 at 4:39 pm)Atheist_named_Christian Wrote: I think women are too - just differently. They tend to keep it secret, maybe because it's not well "received" by society to be promiscuous as a woman. On the other hand, men even notoriously exaggerate the number of sexual partners (most likely for the same reason).
We very much keep it secret if we do this. Well, most of us who aren't telling people on the internet about promiscuous leanings like I do!!! Locker room style bragging can be fun, but it doesn't go over well if you're female quite often. I've known many men and women who like to talk about sex in fun ways including being open about being sexually active/promiscuous, but many still cling to outdated morals about it when the talk comes from a female.
Luckily I work in a mostly male large factory environment where I'm often accepted as one of the guys as far as behaving just as crude in language and discussion topics. It's very comfortable actually. Most gender expectations are missing and I like that. I think the other women there like it too for the most part. Gender problems are fairly far and few between, possibly less frequent than elsewhere (but that part's just my guess). [/hijack - synchronicity has brought up all this gender stuff lately everywhere I look on the internet - guess I still have tons to say on it blah blah...]
Back when thinking of myself as gay, I told people all the time, long after first coming out. Might have been a slight challenge to people, to see how they reacted and sort the bigots from the nice ones right off the bat. I pretty much wore it on tshirts. Ok, I DID sometimes wear it on tshirts.
Quote:I vote for sexual mores, and promiscuity are learned. There has to be a certain animal side to it that can be called natural, but the societal, cultural, and personal preferences and wants of individuals is learned, in my opinion.
I am a man who is not promiscuous. I hate bringing this up, but when people say "all men are promiscuous" it makes me assume sadface. Does that make me less a man for not being able to consider women as one dimensional objects. I can't even have the thought "I'd fuck her" because it doesn't compute past the concept of her as an individual afforded whatever rights and freedoms I expect and demand for myself. I have always wondered if there is something wrong with me.
So I am celibate, literally. I spend my time pondering the nature of reality, and twanging away on assorted instruments. I could go to the bar and smile and have casual sex right now. It's almost midnight and I have the night off, so literally right now. I could rent a prositoot, but seriously, who does that. Now that makes you less a man. I could tell the girl I know that I will, as she says "walk her around the room in a collar" (whatever that could possibly mean) instead of chastising her for acting that way. I don't understand why everyone else acts like a monkey. As a drug addict I don't need any more unhealthy relationships with objects, and can see them from a mile away. And people aren't even objects... That's what makes it unhealthy.
So either all men are not promiscuous, or I am but a mouse.
Thank you,
-Pip
Not all men are promiscuous, Pippy. There tends to be a continuum for any given human trait, and promiscuity is no different. Some men are extremely promiscuous, others are only mildly promiscuous, and still others completely swear off sex.
Man's bell-curve of promiscuity is shifted a bit more towards the promiscuous side than woman's. Whether this is due to "nature" or "nurture," however, is up for debate. Personally, I think it's a little bit of both.
Regardless, a lack of promiscuity makes one no less "manly" than does the lack of a belief in god make one less "human."
(June 6, 2010 at 11:30 pm)WingedFoe Wrote: Although there is the biological argument: that men are more promiscuous because they have more "seed" to spread. Women need to be more selective because they have only so many opportunities to pass on their genes.
In each breeding, only one sperm and only one egg make it. It would equally be in some women's best interest to have a different father for each of her babies, just as some men want many mothers for their babies.
Quote:Of course, societal evolution can supersede the biological, so females may well be responding to new societal demands to be more promiscuous.
I hope it never turns into a demand for either gender. It should be just an optional way of being, just as it is for men. It's more of a current acceptance and equality thing happening, I hope.
June 7, 2010 at 1:44 am (This post was last modified: June 7, 2010 at 1:50 am by Loki_999.)
(June 6, 2010 at 11:48 pm)Pippy Wrote: So I am celibate, literally. I spend my time pondering the nature of reality, and twanging away on assorted instruments.
LOL... if I was celibate I would also spend my time twanging away on my instrument.... fnar fnar.
As for the question, I've known a few gays and bisexuals in my time of both genders. I wouldn't say they are more promiscuous or anything like that. As somebody said, perhaps more flamboyant in some ways. The ones I knew tended to be very gay, in other words, within 1 minute of talking to then your gaydar was flashing.
I'll tell you this though, they were always great fun to go to the nightclubs with. They always attracted the women in droves (possibly because the girls felt safe with gay men, or possibly because they were much better presented that the other men in the room), and it meant being a straight man in the company of gay men and straight women that I usually didn't lack for company by the end of the night. ;-)
So, promiscuous? Certainly not more than your average man. At least they were a bit better behaved about chatting up people that your typical drunken males "Come on darling, show us your tits!"
Locker room style bragging can be fun, but it doesn't go over well if you're female quite often. I've known many men and women who like to talk about sex in fun ways including being open about being sexually active/promiscuous, but many still cling to outdated morals about it when the talk comes from a female.
