Misconceptions about Homosexuality

[downbeatplumb]

I'm still laughing at lesbian spank inferno.

[Violet]

Thank you all for the insights.

You're welcome Aren't you going to question our statements some more, or perhaps ask some new questions?

Just in case any was wondering, this was serious and had no ulterior motives.

I was not wondering... why bring it up?

It's a conspiracy!

[Eilonnwy]

1.) Promiscuity.

Gay people will 'do' anything or anyone. This seems to be the reason (since I asked the last one who did this and received no answer, I feel compelled to go with my own conception, or misconception) lots of gay-folk feel the need to announce the sexual preferance at first introduction. "Hi my name is Gaylord and I'm Gay!" or "My name is Stroker and I am a gay/homosexual (fill in the blank)."

It's like when someone introduces themselves with a title such as "Hi my name is Dotard and I'm an air-conditioning technician." it's included in case you need some a/c repairs. Or "Hi! My name is Shister. I am a realitor." it's included just in case you are in the market for some reality services. "Hi my name is Shelby, I'm a writer." on the off chance you may be looking to pay a writer to have something written.

So when I hear "I'm Frank and I'm Gay". I'm hearing "I'm Frank and I'll suck your dick. Not that you're looking for a man to suck your dick, just throwing that out there."

Are all Gay people Promiscuous?

Short answer, no.

Long answer...oh where to begin.

Gays can be promiscuous, or not. They can be in long loving relationships, or not. Pretty much, gays enter into various relationships in various ways the same way straight people do. The only difference is the gender. Two of my female friends have been happily married for some time.

The whole "introducing as gay", well I've never personally run into that, but I suspect it has more to do with being honest than making a sexual pass. There is a concept known as privilege, certain groups of people have social privilege based on what characteristics they have that are concerned the social norms, or at least what is preferable. Privilege takes many forms, and are characteristic of prejudice. This doesn't mean that people unaware of the privilege are prejudiced. There's white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, etc... Simply put, it describes the social phenomena you experience as a person depending on what privileges you have based on your gender, race, orientation, etc... That people who have the privilege may not necessarily notice but do take advantage of, and that people without privilege deal constantly with the disadvantages.

For instance, white people in the 60s never had to worry if a person would serve them at a lunch counter, black people do. That's white privilege. And even today, black people may face certain obstacles that aren't as blatantly racist but still there. How many movies have a black lead? How often do you look at a commercial and see your race represented?

Privilege refers to varying social issues, ranging from small to severe.

So, straight privilege? What does that mean? It really refers to Heteronormativity, where the heterosexual lifestyle is considered the norm, and therefore there are privileges that straights have, and disadvantages that gays have.

Here are a list of some things that are characteristic of straight privilege.

Here are a few relevant to this post:

11. When I talk about my heterosexuality in casual conversation, I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.

15. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identify as heterosexual

17. People do not assume I am sexually experienced because of my sexual orientation.

20. People don’t assume I possess any mysterious means of identifying other heterosexuals (e.g., “straightdar”).

As I said, I don't experience the "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm gay" but I do have some gay friends, and I'm Bi myself, and while I don't know the details of their sex life none of them seem promiscuous to me, and I know I'm not. It may be possible that they just want to be honest. Maybe they don't want any misunderstandings, because unless you tell them, you will assume they're straight. Maybe they are interested and want to know where you stand, or maybe they just want people to understand who they are not hide it. If they have a boyfriend, they may want to be upfront so you're not met with any surprises.

Here is another article discussing gay privilege with links to real world examples.

Dotard, I understand that you're asking in earnest, so I did my best to give an honest and thoughtful answer. In the end, I just hope you no longer assume the us gays are promiscuous.

[Dotard]

And I appreciate the earnest answers.

Only thing I would disagree with in the responses is "Men are hardwired to fuck anything". Not true.

I would not 'fuck anything'. I draw the line with humans born with a vagina and weigh in at 110-120lbs.

---------------------------------------------------

Next question; 2 part.

Lesbians.

The "lesbians" in pornos, both women are sexy, hot babes. They really do not exist. In lesbian relationships there is always one who is "Butch" and one who is "feminine". One always assumes the role of "man", there is none where both of the girls are feminine.

Lesbians are all man haters. They can be cordial and friendly towards men and may even be 'buddies' with some who are more effeminate, but they harbor a malignance towards masculine men. They use blanket statements such as "all men are pigs", "men will fuck anything" or "men think you're looking to get fucked because you wore a sexy top" or assigning a simular individual attribute to men as a whole.
(Yes, normal women can harbor these same attitudes yet it seems as if they harbor them without the detestation and malice.)


Edited: Oops. Sorry. I mean straight women, not 'normal'.

[Eilonnwy]

The "lesbians" in pornos, both women are sexy, hot babes. They really do not exist. In lesbian relationships there is always one who is "Butch" and one who is "feminine". One always assumes the role of "man", there is none where both of the girls are feminine.

Once again, Dotard, you are just spouting stereotypes that have no basis in reality. How many lesbians do you know? How many do you know in committed relationships? Do you watch what they do in the bedroom? The married couple I am friends with are lesbians and there is no obvious male/female role, they are all both feminine in their own way, in how they dress and act. I have no idea who "tops" because that's none of my business. Gay people don't have to be assigned a role in the bedroom. There's always jokes with gay men about who is the pitcher and who's the catcher, but what's more closer to the truth is that it goes either way depending on what they want to do. There are no rules for how gay people behave in bed, and the same goes for heterosexuals. (Strap-ons exist for a reason, and they aren't just used by Lesbians.)

Lesbians are all man haters. They can be cordial and friendly towards men and may even be 'buddies' with some who are more effeminate, but they harbor a malignance towards masculine men. They use blanket statements such as "all men are pigs", "men will fuck anything" or "men think you're looking to get fucked because you wore a sexy top" or assigning a simular individual attribute to men as a whole.

You are making blanket statements about lesbians while complaining about blanket statements about men. Lesbians are as varied in behaviors, beliefs, prejudice, etc... as men are. None of the lesbians that I know are men haters.

Here is a great article that lists the various misconceptions about lesbians, including the "men hating" one.

[Eilonnwy]

Also, I'm just going to add this because I thought of it after I posted. We often have arguments here with theists who will start putting us atheists in a box. "You atheists just hate God." "You atheists just believe in Science" or "You atheists don't believe in anything at all." etc... Essentially, every so often, from people who have no idea what it's like to be an atheist, will tell us what we are like, what we believe, how we act, etc... And how often do we correct them? "No, atheism is just a response to a question, it says nothing about what I believe." "Atheism just means I lack a belief in God, nothing more."

Well, apply that thinking to gays. The only thing you can know about a person when they tell you that they are gay, is simply that they are sexually attracted to their same gender. Nothing more. Their personality, how they act, who they have sex with, how they have sex with them, how often they have sex with them, how they feel about the opposite gender, etc... is not explicitly implied with the phrase "I'm gay."

Think about all the heterosexuals you know. How different they are. Who do you know is promiscuous? Who do you know never has sex? Who do you know is a sexist? And who do you know likes to roleplay in the bedroom? All you really need to do to understand gays is understand that they are people. No gay person will act exactly like another gay person. Each will have their own views, personality, fashion, etc... There is no box that gay people fit into.

Just like every stereotype that exists, you will find people who fit them. There are a reason the are perpetuated. However, for every stereotype you find, there are probably 10, maybe a 100 people that are nothing like them.

[Scented Nectar]

The "lesbians" in pornos, both women are sexy, hot babes. They really do not exist.

While open to statistics showing otherwise, I'm inclined to agree. Back in my dykey days (most of the 80s), I found lesbian porn (when sneaking away from most of my anti-porn friends to view it) to be disappointing, and that's an understatement. The few of us who did admit to checking out some lezporn would laugh about how no real lesbian would let a woman with long scary fingernails like those anywhere near them. Also, none of us were attracted to overly femmed up women, so they were boring anyways.

In lesbian relationships there is always one who is "Butch" and one who is "feminine". One always assumes the role of "man", there is none where both of the girls are feminine.

Not true at all. There are a few who fall into the role playing stuff, but most that I remember from back then, couples often looked the same as each other, especially as to how femmy/butch they were, hair length, clothing, etc.

Lesbians are all man haters.

If by lesbians, you are referring to only those in the core cult of politically radical lesbian feminist separatism, then yes, I agree. I was once in that cult, being pulled in initially by both lesbianism (I was curious and found some of them attractive), and by the politics of the very real sexism that still exists in the world. The cultlike aspects came into play when I totally swallowed the dogma of ALL men being responsible for ALL evil in the universe. We were perfect and pure, while anything born with a penis was somehow by nature evil, malicious and the enemy. Femmy fashion and make-up were frowned on as giving in to patriarchal control. About 99% of the women I knew were either neutral on the role scale (androgenous) to somewhat masculine in style. Since I always found plaid flannel shirts quite comfortable and pleasing, I pretty much found my fashion peer group comfort zone. The cult had me by the ovaries with sex, politics and fashion aesthetics.

[Dotard]

No Elio. I'm not just "spouting".

I'm inquiring. Sorry if the post read as a spout. I was trying to word it as a conception which could be explained as a misconception if it is so indeed one.

[Pippy]

Who cares about gays, what of the Amish?

The same blue shirt every day!

[Loki_999]

A comment on the porn lesbian thing.... well, its the same as any film/media. You don't choose actors who are pig ugly, you choose them for their looks... and just possibly acting ability.

Why not then say that hetro porn films are also unrealistic because they also contain amazing looking women and all the men have massive penises?

Its just fun and fantasy.

Still, I have met/known a number of lesbians, and even a couple of couples where both partners were quite hot. They do exist as well. Once jokingly offered to "convert" one of them, but they said they wanted a partner whose brain wasn't between their legs. :-(