Thought crime

[robvalue]

I agree, totally.

At times, I have had thoughts that bothered me. I was holding myself responsible for them, and judging myself. It made it worse and worse.

When I was able to let go and accept that these thoughts just come and go, and that I wasn't actually doing anything wrong, it all settled down again.

[LadyForCamus]

I've been realizing more and more what a horrible person I am because of how much I enjoy to people watch and think really mean things about people D:
I don't stare at people in a creepy way and I'm really nice to them. I try not to even talk about them (except to maybe my older sister because she gets me). But I really love to see someone who looks like a train wreck. 250+ lbs in a spandex leopard print body suit, anyone with a mullet, pajamas in public, those really humongous jeans that could fit like 4 people in each leg. Anyone who could end up on "people of Walmart". These people are my greatest source of entertainment.

I think it's terrible to judge people, and even worse to make people feel bad for how they look.
I would never be mean to someone or make fun of them (out loud), but I think I would have no friends if people could hear the thoughts that bounce around in my head.

So, I guess I'm just wondering how horrible it is if you just think the horrible thoughts but you don't say them out loud...

I do this on a daily basis, and rarely feel bad about it. So, if you are a horrible person then at least you have company! [emoji6] seriously though, I think it's human nature. Don't beat yourself up over it.

[Edwardo Piet]

@ Rob

Agreed.

Also in the past for me when I've been very depressed, what added to the problem was being depressed about being depressed and wanting the depression to go away... not only was I depressed in general but I was miserable about being miserable and depressed about being depressed. It can be a vicious circle.

Emotions, and just thoughts in general, can be deadly when they turn back inwards on themselves like negative moebius strips, that's what I say.

[Edwardo Piet]

I have fucked up, disgusting, depraved and brutally mean thoughts very regularly. I just don't take them seriously. They make me laugh, mostly. I know they're not "me", in any meaningful sense.

This part is vital. Absolutely, they're known as "ego-dystonic".

More from the article I posted:

[...]]The human brain naturally generates nonsensical and often bizarre thoughts, even for those without OCD. A study conducted by Rachman and de Silva (1978) found that healthy college students reported having thoughts with common OCD themes, such as violence, forbidden sexual acts, and urges to do inappropriate things in public. The difference is that when individuals without OCD experience ego-dystonic thoughts, meaning they are the opposite of an individual’s true nature, desires, values, and self-image, the brain responds differently.[...]

(My turtley bolding).

Don't feel bad Lostykins, it isn't horrible it's perfectly normal and you're not a horrible person you're a kind, lovely, compassionate, caring, selfless and wonderful person -- Don't beat yourself up for having normal thoughts

[Losty]

It's normal. It's not a problem. The only problem would be making into a problem by thinking it is a problem and giving what isn't a problem too much attention -- then it could become an OCD thing and the only person it could harm is yourself.

I hope reading this will help:

http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/070212p22.shtml

[...]Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a type of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy that teaches clients to regard “internal private experiences” as normal rather than viewing them as problems that need to be fixed. Uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, images, urges, and sensations are all part of the human experience. If we view them as problems, they become problematic. ACT has various techniques to help clients use mindfulness to observe their thoughts rather attaching to and becoming overwhelmed by them.

Russ Harris, in The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, discussed a skill called cognitive defusion, which helps an individual create room for intrusive thoughts. A client thinks, “I am a bad person.” To practice defusion, you would restate the thought: “I just had a thought that I am a bad person” or go a step further and say, “I just noticed I had a thought that I am a bad person.” This allows clients to occupy the same space with their thoughts but from a different vantage point. Instead of being crunched in a small closet with their thoughts, they are now in a gymnasium with them.[...]

My bolding

I recommend reading the full article as it talks about Pure O OCD, and if you're not familiar with it already, knowing about Pure O may help

Thank you for this. I'll take some time to read it today

[Edwardo Piet]

I do this on a daily basis[...]it's human nature.  Don't beat yourself up over it.

This.

[Edwardo Piet]

Thank you for this. I'll take some time to read it today

You are very welcome.

I'm very familiar with it because I struggled with it for years. The last medication I came off was to treat Pure O OCD.

They don't call it Pure O here in the UK, but that's basically what it was because I had treatment for OCD but my OCD was entirely internalized.

I'm extremely familiar with this sort of thing, Lostykins. For me it was a lot more seemingly negative and severe than what you're describing in the OP though, but even those thoughts I used to have -- and still sometimes have -- are normal too, they only seem negative until you realize they're just random thoughts. "Seem" is the key word. If I had said aloud any of my thoughts that I used to have (far more regularly than I do now, they're normal so they're never going away and I should never expect them to) and worried about -- and more regularly because I worried about them -- they would seem far, far, far worse than what you describe in the OP. But they're just thoughts. Just like yours and just like everyone else's.

I wouldn't be surprised if you ever had random automatic thoughts that seem far worse in content than the ones you describe -- because everyone does! (or at least everyone is capable of having them through no fault of their own and it's not really them, so they shouldn't identify with them (they're "ego-dystonic"), it's just random thoughts).

Thoughts are certainly something that religion takes pride in guilting people about.

EDIT: Apology for the ramble, I just really am very familiar personally with this kind of thing.

[Edwardo Piet]

[...]We're not consciously in control of what thoughts pop into our heads, or how we then feel about those thoughts. Trying to stop yourself even thinking certain things, in my experience, produces the opposite.[...]

This is the absolute crux of it.

I spent years trying to stop the (seemingly) "worst" of my thoughts (there are no bad thoughts if they don't bother you, because they certainly can't bother anyone else), and it had exactly the opposite effect.

[Crossless2.0]

[...]We're not consciously in control of what thoughts pop into our heads, or how we then feel about those thoughts. Trying to stop yourself even thinking certain things, in my experience, produces the opposite.[...]

This is the absolute crux of it.

I spent years trying to stop the (seemingly) "worst" of my thoughts (there are no bad thoughts if they don't bother you, because they certainly can't bother anyone else), and it had exactly the opposite effect.

DON'T THINK OF AN ELEPHANT!!!

[Edwardo Piet]

No worries, I just thought of a heffalump instead of an elephant.

OH FUCK now I've thought of an elephant!

Oh wait, that's fine.