Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 1, 2026, 2:47 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I was good at Walmart today

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
I was good at Walmart today
vorlon13 Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: agnostic 12 stepper
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation: 91
#1
I was good at Walmart today
April 14, 2016 at 10:48 pm
Idiot ahead of me at the checkout could not get the card machine to work right, and finally the clerk came around and grabbed his card and tried it again and said:

"You didn't stick it in far enough"




I had to get 4 stitches in my lip.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Find
Reply
LadyForCamus Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9916
Threads: 53
Joined: November 27, 2015
Reputation: 92
#2
I was good at Walmart today
April 14, 2016 at 10:52 pm
[Image: raw]
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69246
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 258
#3
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 14, 2016 at 11:27 pm
Perhaps he couldn't stick it in any farther?

Some men have small "hands."


[Image: 160303235523-gop-debate-trump-hands-exlarge-169.jpg]
Find
Reply
robvalue Offline
Chainsaw of logic
*****
Religious Views: Time to wake up
Posts: 29101
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation: 154
#4
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 2:34 am
Haha. Man, I'm the same. Worse even. Sometimes I get trapped in a kind of mental limbo where all I can do is interpret everything people say in a dirty way. It stops being fun at that point and feels like work.
Find
Reply
Jackalope Offline
Exiled
********
Religious Views: Absurdist
Posts: 31905
Threads: 205
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#5
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 2:36 am
Vorlon - are you not feeling well?
Find
Reply
Kitan Etos Offline Donators
Previous username: Paraselene
Faith's Nightmare
*****
Religious Views: Infidel Savant
Posts: 35390
Threads: 1439
Joined: March 15, 2013
Reputation: 152
#6
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 2:37 am
Wow xD
"What a little moonlight can do." ~ Billie Holiday
Find
Reply
robvalue Offline
Chainsaw of logic
*****
Religious Views: Time to wake up
Posts: 29101
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation: 154
#7
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 2:38 am
Sometimes you gotta jiggle it about a bit as well.
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69246
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 258
#8
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 2:42 am
(April 15, 2016 at 2:38 am)robvalue Wrote: Sometimes you gotta jiggle it about a bit as well.

Ah.  The famed 'swizzle-stick' technique.
Find
Reply
SteelCurtain Offline
Milk Chocolate Bimbo/Swag Master
*****
Religious Views: Atheist (6)
Posts: 15352
Threads: 119
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation: 116
#9
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 3:32 am (This post was last modified: April 15, 2016 at 3:34 am by SteelCurtain.)
I swell with pride at your restraint.

When the joke is a barn burner, sometimes it's healthier to let it out.
Find
Reply
brewer Offline Donators
wife thinks I'm part of the furniture
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 28870
Threads: 528
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation: 89
#10
RE: I was good at Walmart today
April 15, 2016 at 9:12 pm
I had heard that you had to "lick it before you stick it".
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
I was good at Walmart today

Possibly Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Today's lingo. Jackie 12 4030 March 31, 2021 at 7:46 am
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  My cab driver...... True story today.... Jackie 4 1691 February 22, 2019 at 5:19 pm
Last Post: Jackie
  Doonesbury Nails the WLB Today Minimalist 1 1217 July 30, 2017 at 1:22 pm
Last Post: Jackie
  Warren put out a Tweet today, ....... Jackie 1 950 June 23, 2017 at 6:46 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Walmart Darwinian 11 3829 August 29, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Vintage ads that would be banned today Creed of Heresy 6 4381 July 3, 2013 at 5:21 am
Last Post: Zen Badger
  Today I'm grateful for the Queen Oldandeasilyconfused 1 1656 June 11, 2012 at 9:57 am
Last Post: KichigaiNeko
  This happened at uni today Napoléon 10 5545 February 7, 2012 at 8:41 am
Last Post: KichigaiNeko
  Here's something funny I came up with today AthiestAtheist 5 4335 November 30, 2011 at 1:24 am
Last Post: Oldandeasilyconfused
  Notalwaysright.com today Doubting Thomas 4 3114 November 20, 2011 at 10:18 am
Last Post: Ziploc Surprise



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)