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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Three Questions for God

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Three Questions for God
ApeNotKillApe Offline
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#11
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 2:32 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 2:28 pm)pool the great Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 2:10 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: Why couldn't you just not create disease in the first place? Or suffocation, for that matter.

God, "...because I wanted to teach you despair so that you could find true joy in happiness."

That's retarded...?
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ErGingerbreadMandude Offline
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#12
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 2:51 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 2:32 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 2:28 pm)pool the great Wrote: God, "...because I wanted to teach you despair so that you could find true joy in happiness."

That's retarded...?

God, "...not at all my daughter , the tough times make you appreciate the good times even more. "
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ApeNotKillApe Offline
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#13
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 2:56 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 2:51 pm)pool the great Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 2:32 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: That's retarded...?

God,  "...not at all my daughter , the tough times make you appreciate the good times even more. "

I'm a guy, you omnipotent ass.
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ErGingerbreadMandude Offline
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#14
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 3:07 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 2:56 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 2:51 pm)pool the great Wrote: God,  "...not at all my daughter , the tough times make you appreciate the good times even more. "

I'm a guy, you omnipotent ass.

God, "...I didn't wanna come off as sexist just in case lmao "
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dyresand Offline
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#15
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 3:17 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 1:50 pm)Godschild Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 9:41 am)Time Traveler Wrote: The Judeo-Christian God finally reveals himself to everyone on the planet, convincing you and every adherent of all other “false” religions beyond any doubt that he, Yahweh, is indeed real. He offers you a chance to ask three questions without fear of reprisal. What would you ask?

My questions would be…

1) You remained hidden for so long. Did you wait to reveal yourself until now because the religious wars between Islam and Christianity, Protestant and Catholic, etc., amused you?

2) So, are the Catholics right in accepting evolution, or did you plant false evidence as the young earth creationists attest?

3) And what were you thinking when you made the esophagus and windpipe so close together? I nearly choked on my beer when I found out you were real!

 God would shock you to your very core with the answers, if you actually were able to choke out such questions facing the Almighty God.

GC

No no he wouldn't god of the bible is a psychopathic coward pretty sure he isn't all powerful i mean why did he destroy the tower of babel 
and why are steel chariots his weakness? I mean for fucks sakes if steel chariots are a issue than thanks, battle ships, submarines, etc
is really scaring him into not wanting to show up
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#16
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 3:56 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 9:41 am)Time Traveler Wrote: The Judeo-Christian God finally reveals himself to everyone on the planet, convincing you and every adherent of all other “false” religions beyond any doubt that he, Yahweh, is indeed real. He offers you a chance to ask three questions without fear of reprisal. What would you ask?

My questions would be…

1) You remained hidden for so long. Did you wait to reveal yourself until now because the religious wars between Islam and Christianity, Protestant and Catholic, etc., amused you?

2) So, are the Catholics right in accepting evolution, or did you plant false evidence as the young earth creationists attest?

3) And what were you thinking when you made the esophagus and windpipe so close together? I nearly choked on my beer when I found out you were real!

1.  I remained hidden because I was embarrassed by the antics of those who claim to be my followers.

2.  None of them are right. 

3.  Ooops.  Seemed a good idea at the time.  I was drunk and made the platypus at the same time.

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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#17
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 3:58 pm
Poor G-C.  He can't understand why his fucking god gets no respect!
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robvalue Offline
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#18
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 4:07 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 2:12 pm)Stimbo Wrote: 1 If you're god, why that face?
2 Turn this chicken marengo into a woman.
3 I'm serious.

So sayeth the cat Big Grin Much better questions than mine.
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Time Traveler Offline
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#19
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 4:26 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 12:01 pm)Divinity Wrote: 1. What the fuck is wrong with you?

2. Why do you care so much about gay people having sex?

3. No seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

God's disappointed, angry mother has weighed in!
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Cyberman Away
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#20
RE: Three Questions for God
April 18, 2016 at 4:31 pm
(April 18, 2016 at 4:07 pm)robvalue Wrote:
(April 18, 2016 at 2:12 pm)Stimbo Wrote: 1 If you're god, why that face?
2 Turn this chicken marengo into a woman.
3 I'm serious.

So sayeth the cat Big Grin Much better questions than mine.

Back when Red Dwarf was actually good.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Three Questions for God

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