Is there a right way to romantically connect with others?

[Arkilogue]

[bennyboy]

I don't think polyamory is ethical, because I still believe (shoot me, I already know what you fuckers are going to say about this) that at the core, heterosexual relationships are about babies. Yeah, fuck you, I said it, don't start with me.

The ethics of sexuality are largely to do with what happens at the point of pregnancy. In a polyamorous relationship, pregnancy likely means that the woman will no longer get to be anything-androus. Since she's lacking the bonded understanding of a monogamous couple, she's going to have a hard time convincing the man that he suddenly needs to commit to helping her build a nest and raising a child.

The other issue is the reproductive life cycle. It's easy to talk a 20 year-old girl into thinking she'll never ever want a baby. But fast forward about 9 years, and there's going to be a real dissonance-- she's very likely to start wondering about reproducing, whereas for a man-- well, he's still got about 40 years to think about it.

[Arkilogue]

[Excited Penguin]

[paulpablo]

[Excited Penguin]

Not condoning absent fathers or sex with infants here, but the kind of mentality that treats sex like it's nothing sounds great to me. I think an incredible amount of bad things come from the kind of taboo some cultures place around sex.

[Arkilogue]

[paulpablo]

Not condoning absent fathers or sex with infants here, but the kind of mentality that treats sex like it's nothing sounds great to me. I think an incredible amount of bad things come from the kind of taboo some cultures place around sex.

I think a lot of good comes from those taboos.

Let me talk about this in terms of peaches instead of sex or sexual body parts.

Lets say I live in a society where peaches are pretty taboo, it's not a huge taboo but you don't go round rubbing peaches on people in public.
In this society I crave peaches and the idea of going to some society where they're rubbing peaches all around sounds great.

But if you lived in the peach rubbing society after 10 or 20 years I'm pretty sure the craving would be obliterated and instead you'd be thinking ok can you stop rubbing your peaches all over me everytime meet, it's getting annoying.

I like the fact that some of the things I like are taboo.

It's kind of like the difference between skipping school classes /  Never going to school or work ever and not doing much with your life.

One feels great and thrilling the other is depressing.  The abundance of something you like can be depressing.

[paulpablo]

What's morally right for a bonobo, in my opinion, isn't necessarily right for a human being.

So the question is are they doing it wrong?  

In their society sex with infants is common.  The male has no guarantee that the baby is his and doesn't participate in raising the child at all.

It seems that their path of evolution has made this behavior the best that works for them, their bodies seem to be geared towards using sex as basically their version of a handshake or some form of casual comfort.

In human society the standard trend seems to be that fathers want to look after their own children.  And that there's a taboo on sex with children possibly related to the fact that in most human cultures sex is seen as something more signficant than a handshake or a pat on the back to comfort someone.


From what I can gather in our society, fathers doing nothing to raise their children and sex with infants only seems to have bad outcomes for our species.

That's just my guess, you could go back in time and somehow coerse the human species to adopt bonobo culture from the dawn of humanity and it might result in something amazing, my guess is though that our behaviors suit our psychology and biology.

Do they have morals? Do they think "I really want to take the food from the other ape but it's morally wrong so I won't"? Certainly they learn pleasure/pain responses but do they cognitively self inhibit actions they would otherwise do because they would feel like a bad ape?

Ignoring the strawinfant, do you think sex between consenting adults who are not married to be morally wrong?

What's the strawinfant and why are you ignoring it?

I'm basically saying this thread is about humans I'm guessing. You're asking are bonobos doing it wrong and presenting links with titles about how we can learn from bonobos.

I don't think we would be behaving morally correctly by adopting bonobo behavior.

[Arkilogue]

Do they have morals? Do they think "I really want to take the food from the other ape but it's morally wrong so I won't"? Certainly they learn pleasure/pain responses but do they cognitively self inhibit actions they would otherwise do because they would feel like a bad ape?

Ignoring the strawinfant, do you think sex between consenting adults who are not married to be morally wrong?

What's the strawinfant and why are you ignoring it?

Perhaps cherry picking would have been a more appropriate description.

Bonobo's don't have a penal code nor prisons and sex between consenting human adults in private is not illegal in most places, sex with an infant is.

Infant rape is already happening in highly sexualized cultures like South Africa and sexually repressive cultures like India.

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Do they have morals? Do they think "I really want to take the food from the other ape but it's morally wrong so I won't"? Certainly they learn pleasure/pain responses but do they cognitively self inhibit actions they would otherwise do because they would feel like a bad ape?

Ignoring the strawinfant, do you think sex between consenting adults who are not married to be morally wrong?

What's the strawinfant and why are you ignoring it?

I'm basically saying this thread is about humans I'm guessing.  You're asking are bonobos doing it wrong and presenting links with titles about how we can learn from bonobos.

I don't think we would be behaving morally correctly by adopting bonobo behavior.

I wasn't suggesting a whole sale culture swap.
And did you read the articles?