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Atheist Forums › Community › Introductions › Ask a ... v
Ask your Creator.

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Ask your Creator.
The Valkyrie Offline
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#1
Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:43 pm
Okay, since I'm channelling God for another thread, it might be a good opportunity to ask Him an y questions that might be lurking in your mind about your existence.

If you have any questions, please ask away and I will get God to answer for you.*


And, GO!



*I accept no responsibility for the accuracy of the answer, or any impending eternal damnation that may result.
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Nay_Sayer Offline
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#2
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:46 pm
I torment myself over the right type of colander to wear on special occasions; Colored plastic to match my tie or Stainless Steel to preserve your wholesome noodly teachings?
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#3
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:47 pm
Why are you so happy with this?


Quote:
Quote:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Psalm 137
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#4
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm
(October 11, 2017 at 5:46 pm)Nay_Sayer Wrote: I torment myself over the right type of colander to wear on special occasions;  Colored plastic to match my tie or Stainless Steel to preserve your wholesome noodly teachings?

Stainless steel.

It has the added advantage of protecting you from Bozo Rays™ being projected into your brain by the Shadow Government, just as tinfoil hats do.
Dying to live, living to die.
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Foxaèr Offline Donators
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#5
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm
Answer the question you already know I'm going to ask before I ask it.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:53 pm
(October 11, 2017 at 5:47 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Why are you so happy with this?

It's embarrassing to admit this, but I was stoned out of My cosmic brain when I wrote that.

Just ignore those bits that you don't like and think shouldn't apply to you and you can be a good Christian, too.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#7
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:54 pm (This post was last modified: October 11, 2017 at 5:55 pm by The Valkyrie.)
(October 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm)Lutrinae Wrote: Answer the question you already know I'm going to ask before I ask it.

The only way to make it bigger is surgery.


And, to the secret question you ask yourself, No, otters would not make good condoms.
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Foxaèr Offline Donators
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#8
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:57 pm
(October 11, 2017 at 5:54 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: The only way to make it bigger is surgery.


And, to the secret question you ask yourself, No, otters would not make good condoms.

So, the Kardashian booty is a go.

And there goes my multi-million dollar idea.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#9
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 5:58 pm
Why, God, did you make me so fucking loveable, dickhead?
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#10
RE: Ask your Creator.
October 11, 2017 at 6:00 pm
(October 11, 2017 at 5:58 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Why, God, did you make me so fucking loveable, dickhead?

I'll take that to be two questions.

I made you loveable because someone has to be as loveable as you, and there are so few in the world.

I made you a dickhead because everyone needs a flaw.

Wink
Dying to live, living to die.
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Atheist Forums › Community › Introductions › Ask a ... v
Ask your Creator.

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