Adopting Children of Another Race

[Shell B]

No worries. Any post is cool, Hams. I’m not looking for helpful insight-just discussion.

[Divinity]

People have negative opinions all the fucking time. Let them have those opinions.

My daughter and her wife adopted three kids. They might eventually adopt more. A lot of people talk about them because they're a lesbian couple and 'every child needs a mom and a dad!" You know who doesn't give a fuck about that? Those three girls they adopted. They have a family now that loves them, and cares for them. They get warm meals, a roof over their heads, two parents who love the hell out of them, and lot's of hugs and kisses.

If you asked them if they'd rather have waited for a family with a 'mom and a dad', you know what they'd say? "Why?"

Because the only people it makes sense to are the fucking bigots who have sticks shoved so far up their asses it enters their brain, and has removed what tiny brain they have. Foster Kids want one thing: A family that loves them. That's a rare thing. And some assholes who should be beaten to death with a rusty machete shouldn't have shit to say about it.

[Whateverist]

Aside from dealing with what other people think you should be doing culturally I don't think it would be an issue. Except if you decide to get a baby with kinky hair, from what I understand, you'd better look into what is involved. Maybe buddy someone already raising a kinky hair baby and ask to help with the brushing out and all. I won't pretend to know enough about it to be any use but that is something that would make me want to make sure I had the competency.

I'm very happy to be in the world without passing my genes along. But for someone who is always celebrating our being mammals, I don't at all want to live out my animal destiny and have a litter. Furry babies for me, thank you.

[Shell B]

I’d definitely become the master of kinky hair. May already be. My best friend during my formative years is black. Those are the years you spend doing your hair and makeup together, so I learned a lot. She definitely had to put in more work than I did.

[J a c k]

We have a family in the neighborhood who received a lot of heat when they adopted. This couple fostered three siblings (white) and ended up adopting all three. The couple is brown. They love the kids and didn’t want them to be separated from each other. People really disliked the idea of them not adopting brown kids. Why? Fuck. I don’t know. Some people think brown kids are used as accessories. Some people think white kids are privileged even when they’re orphans. Some people think bull shit. People like to bitch. Let them. I think kids want stability and love and they won’t be focused on anything else. Kids adapt. They’d probably choose a home with a different culture than hopping around foster homes for years. As a social worker, I really believe this.

[Shell B]

I think so too. Of course, before I consider adopting, I will do all the research I need to do to make an educated decision. So far, I'm just drawn to kids who seem to be funny and like football. Hahaha.

[mlmooney89]

It seems like that's what some people would have you do, in order to preserve their "culture," and not treat them like "accessories." I don't get their reasoning. Maybe someone has a valid argument for this. I've yet to see it.

What you are raised in is your culture, what your ancestors did before you is your heritage in my eyes. My daughter, her father, and her grandfather were all born here in the states but her great grandfather was born, raised, and spends half the year these days in Peru. She will grow up in American culture but I think her heritage is important and will teach her stuff they value in Peru including it's language so she can speak to her great grandfather in his native tongue. I'm 100% white and have no reason to teach her this stuff other than I think it's important. There is no reason why a white couple couldn't adopt a black or Hispanic child, raise it American in general but then also say "Hey you know the great thing about adoption is that you get to bring different heritages into the family. Let's explore what your ancestors did back in so and so country." Great teaching moment and they can become more involved in countries other than the one they were born into.

I plan on looking into that. I suspect it’s definitely not more harmful than being in foster care.

See, I don't know.  Children can be very cruel.

Words from cruel children are better than sleeping in an office of a social worker because you have no place in the world, being placed with a family that is supposed to protect you only to abuse you, learning to be an adult too early in life because no one else is taking care of you, being separated from your siblings because no one wants the burden of taking all of you in... the foster care system is disgusting. If I could afford the process and a house with more than one bedroom I would adopt.

[LastPoet]

My wife after 33 hours of labour for Sofia, wanted no more. Recently she has changed her mind as she has been asking for a sibling to Sofia. Well, drop shields honey. Adoption in Portugal is hard if you don't have a lot of money, google "IURD adoption scandal portugal". A Brasilian based xtian evangelical mega church thingy got babies out of their mothers a few years back.

[Shell B]

Could you do an out-of-country adoption? I know that's probably more expensive. Just throwing out ideas.

We'll adopt in the U.S. if/when we do, for the simple fact that there are plenty of kids nearby.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The only possible drawback I could see to interracial adoption here in America would be the case of a white couple adopting minority children; they might have more difficulty preparing those children for the realities of living in a country that retains a considerable amount of racism.

That said, I don't think it's insurmountable at all, and I do think that even with that hypothetical issue, the children would be better off in a loving household than a foster-care system which has not only that potential issue, but so many more actual problems.