Awkward School Religious Experiences?

[Drich]

mom forced me to an all christian camp, who entire staff and camper population was 100% korean. (i'm half) only 5 or 6 people spoke english and I spoke korean well enough to sound like down syndrome kid with a hillbilly accent. so needless to say everything I said was ridiculed and they spoke fast as to intentionally confuse me or leave me out.. (korean is split into two languages or dialects formal which is what i learn it was what the older people spoke) and informal which is what younger people spoke kind like a cross of ebonics and creole. So I hated it of course and decided to hide from their crazy way of practicing christianity. the first time the found me was under the bed and poked me with a broom till they gave up and formed a prayer circle around me and had like an hour prayer circle around me under the bed. Then locked me in there for dinner.. after camp they didn't want me back.

The next time I went to church was to a methodist or some off brand where they were being possessed by the spirit. (was invited by a friend.) it started with the preacher he would speak and then started in with tongues.. then he would touch someone on the forehead they would fall down and start shaking and started with the tongues.. and then one after another they were chanting some song then started off in tongues.. there were like 4 of us not possessed and the preach came to head of the church and said the holy spirit told him not to let anyone leave till all were possessed by him.. Then he went to the guy next to me put his arms around the guy and put his forehead to the side of the guys head and whispered some incantation out loud and whisper in his ear, and let the guy go.. he fell to the ground started shaking, and started in tongues..

Needless to say that scared the crap out of me! then he grabbed me and started with the incantation then whispered in my ear, just play along so we can all go home just fall on the ground and say oh my knee oh my lord real fast over and over then let me go.. I was shocked. I took a step back and just sat down he looked at me and most everyone else while shaking and carring on was looking out the corner of their eye and I said no, he ask what did the holy Spirit say?? I just shook my head and said I will not do that. God is here or he is not, he does not need me to pretend. dude gave me a serious evil eye and moved on.. i got up and went home...

then walked away thinking I explored christianity and it's all shit.

The problem was.. I did thing my way. the religious way. little did I know that everything in the bible was done so we could be in direct contact with God without religion as an intercessory implement. religion can be best describes as training wheels for the young and unbalanced. however once you are ready for the real unfiltered truth God himself takes you on, and it is or can be just you and him. however you need to know the bible as God is not the only being out there looking for souls.

I think the only difference between me and most of you were I started without God, religion was forced on me. i was honest in my search for the truth and followed the truth where ever it lead despite what I thought or wanted it to be. In my search I was away from God brought to religion through various sources and found each and everyone to be false in one form or another and also true o one degree or another. then I cried out wanting to know the truth, was dragged through hell for my inquery to the point I hated God so much anything He done I knew was not of me or well wishing/what I wanted from God. I was so far gone nothing or no one could bring me back. but even then my desire for truth even at the expense of my soul fueled my motivations. Meaning I want to know if there was a god so bad I demanded an audience so I could fight him. I wanted to spit in his eye and maybe take a swing if he would give me a chance. (because he was not who I thought he was suposed to be. In the end through all of my experience I would build an idea of God and trials in my life/the hardships would have me cry out to the god of my understanding and the trial would over take me and I go no help from God.. over and over and over. Like the parable of the wise and foolish builder. I did not know it at the time but I was the foolish man building my faith on the sand or a incorrect version of God. so when ever I though I knew what God was. he was send the wind and rain to destroy/show me my God was not real. until I got to the point I wanted a swing at God. So I got my chance in the way of my hell dream. (i can post a link if you haven't heard it.) so basically I fell to my face because I knew who this man was. he stood me up looked me in the eye, (very bright) and everything was revealed.. even more I for a moment felt the infinite love He offers, and then it was gone. I saw is eye grown dim and he said away from me you evil pos I never knew you. then I was being consumed by 'hell fire.' which is not fire but induces the same panic fear and shear animalistic terror something alive would have by being slowly eaten alive by this black nothingness.

Long story short. God kept me at arms length till I stopped looking for my God and started to seek him in whatever form He was in. meaning I had to meet him on his terms and not expect him to see me on mine. Once I was real (expressed my hate toward him/stopped the holy bully shit) and was open to the truth no matter where it went Did god set me on a path. As i was faithful to what he gave me that day, he has since doubled my measure of blessing and understand over and over and over. to the point i started to loo forward to my trials because I know he would double my reward and wisdom yet again.

Trials I have had... we haven't even Got to my wife or her addiction.. or the business nor the things God blessed me with...

My take away from this..

All Jesus Christ centered religions can find salvation and a way to eternial life. As there is forgivness when we sin, there is forgivness in abundance when we worship with all of our being and simply gett things wrong...

However,if you seek or need something deeper... you must seek God outon his terms.

Think about it. Let's say God is more like transdimensional being who has either technological ability or just intrinsic ability to yield ultimate and complete power and authority here in 'midgaurd,' and demands to be treated and respected a certain way, and you in your mind see God as your grand pa who you can screw out of his social security check every month if you promise to 1/2 ass cut his lawn and buy enough groceries from the second hand food store and you keep the rest..

Let's say the Transdimensional God allows you to pray to granpa God and answers your prayer though grandpa god.. Now what would ever spur you to seek Transdimensional God if grandpa god is doing what you want?

Rather lets say "TG" (Transdimensional God) remains silent everytime you invoke GPG (Grandpa God) or whatever twisted version you have in mind. but rewards you greatly each and every time you put another building block in place that leads you to TG..

The problem with most? you assume you are the center of the universe, and that the GPG you grew up with is in fact the right one and this GPG would never allow harm to beset you if he could help it. But the problem? there is no GPG only TD who is simply waiting to help you as he has me...

[Mr.Obvious]

Remembering school now brings The embarrassement. Remembering The pious, self-righteous hypocrite little shit i was.

[Cherub786]

Imagine you're in the middle of English class at a Catholic school. Suddenly a priest in all his vestments shows up with some kind of censor, interrupts the class, recites some prayer and sprinkles water on everyone. The water even got on my binder and I distinctly remember the priest apologizing and wiping it off.

[arewethereyet]

I went to public schools through 5th grade then we moved to my dad's hometown. The only public school was the kindergarten. So in 6th grade I was thrown into Catholic school. Since I hadn't had confirmation yet I had to leave the classroom several times for preparation for same with the 4th graders and was looked on with some contempt because obviously my Catholic education was lacking. I stayed 'out of the loop' through HS graduation.

One thing that stands out as weird was when they brought in a group of Jesus Freaks (it was the 70s) to show us that Jebus was cool. In the post Jesus Christ Superstar era this group of kids, just older than us, were going from school to school and church to church to let us know how Catholicism had saved them from a life of drugs, sex, and rock and roll.

[Jade-Green Stone]

mom forced me to an all christian camp, who entire staff and camper population was 100% korean. (i'm half) only 5 or 6 people spoke english and I spoke korean well enough to sound like down syndrome kid with a hillbilly accent. so needless to say everything I said was ridiculed and they spoke fast as to intentionally confuse me or leave me out.. (korean is split into two languages or dialects formal which is what i learn it was what the older people spoke) and informal which is what younger people spoke kind like a cross of ebonics and creole. So I hated it of course and decided to hide from their crazy way of practicing christianity. the first time the found me was under the bed and poked me with a broom till they gave up and formed a prayer circle around me and had like an hour prayer circle around me under the bed. Then locked me in there for dinner.. after camp they didn't want me back.

The next time I went to church was to a methodist or some off brand where they were being possessed by the spirit. (was invited by a friend.) it started with the preacher he would speak and then started in with tongues.. then he would touch someone on the forehead they would fall down and start shaking and started with the tongues.. and then one after another they were chanting some song then started off in tongues.. there were like 4 of us not possessed and the preach came to head of the church and said the holy spirit told him not to let anyone leave till all were possessed by him.. Then he went to the guy next to me put his arms around the guy and put his forehead to the side of the guys head and whispered some incantation out loud and whisper in his ear, and let the guy go.. he fell to the ground started shaking, and started in tongues..

Needless to say that scared the crap out of me! then he grabbed me and started with the incantation then whispered in my ear, just play along so we can all go home just fall on the ground and say oh my knee oh my lord real fast over and over then let me go.. I was shocked. I took a step back and just sat down he looked at me and most everyone else while shaking and carring on was looking out the corner of their eye and I said no, he ask what did the holy Spirit say?? I just shook my head and said I will not do that. God is here or he is not, he does not need me to pretend. dude gave me a serious evil eye and moved on.. i got up and went home...

then walked away thinking I explored christianity and it's all shit.

The problem was.. I did thing my way. the religious way. little did I know that everything in the bible was done so we could be in direct contact with God without religion as an intercessory implement. religion can be best describes as training wheels for the young and unbalanced. however once you are ready for the real unfiltered truth God himself takes you on, and it is or can be just you and him. however you need to know the bible as God is not the only being out there looking for souls.

I think the only difference between me and most of you were I started without God, religion was forced on me. i was honest in my search for the truth and followed the truth where ever it lead despite what I thought or wanted it to be. In my search I was away from God brought to religion through various sources and found each and everyone to be false in one form or another and also true o one degree or another. then I cried out wanting to know the truth, was dragged through hell for my inquery to the point I hated God so much anything He done I knew was not of me or well wishing/what I wanted from God. I was so far gone nothing or no one could bring me back. but even then my desire for truth even at the expense of my soul fueled my motivations. Meaning I want to know if there was a god so bad I demanded an audience so I could fight him. I wanted to spit in his eye and maybe take a swing if he would give me a chance. (because he was not who I thought he was suposed to be. In the end through all of my experience I would build an idea of God and trials in my life/the hardships would have me cry out to the god of my understanding and the trial would over take me and I go no help from God.. over and over and over. Like the parable of the wise and foolish builder. I did not know it at the time but I was the foolish man building my faith on the sand or a incorrect version of God. so when ever I though I knew what God was. he was send the wind and rain to destroy/show me my God was not real. until I got to the point I wanted a swing at God. So I got my chance in the way of my hell dream. (i can post a link if you haven't heard it.) so basically I fell to my face because I knew who this man was. he stood me up looked me in the eye, (very bright) and everything was revealed.. even more I for a moment felt the infinite love He offers, and then it was gone. I saw is eye grown dim and he said away from me you evil pos I never knew you. then I was being consumed by 'hell fire.' which is not fire but induces the same panic fear and shear animalistic terror something alive would have by being slowly eaten alive by this black nothingness.

Long story short. God kept me at arms length till I stopped looking for my God and started to seek him in whatever form He was in. meaning I had to meet him on his terms and not expect him to see me on mine. Once I was real (expressed my hate toward him/stopped the holy bully shit) and was open to the truth no matter where it went Did god set me on a path. As i was faithful to what he gave me that day, he has since doubled my measure of blessing and understand over and over and over. to the point i started to loo forward to my trials because I know he would double my reward and wisdom yet again.

Trials I have had... we haven't even Got to my wife or her addiction.. or the business nor the things God blessed me with...

My take away from this..

All Jesus Christ centered religions can find salvation and a way to eternial life. As there is forgivness when we sin, there is forgivness in abundance when we worship with all of our being and simply gett things wrong...

However,if you seek or need something deeper... you must seek God outon his terms.

Think about it. Let's say God is more like transdimensional being who has either technological ability or just intrinsic ability to yield ultimate and complete power and authority here in 'midgaurd,' and demands to be treated and respected a certain way, and you in your mind see God as your grand pa who you can screw out of his social security check every month if you promise to 1/2 ass cut his lawn and buy enough groceries from the second hand food store and you keep the rest..  

Let's say the Transdimensional God allows you to pray to granpa God and answers your prayer though grandpa god.. Now what would ever spur you to seek Transdimensional God if grandpa god is doing what you want?

Rather lets say "TG" (Transdimensional God) remains silent everytime you invoke GPG (Grandpa God) or whatever twisted version you have in mind. but rewards you greatly each and every time you put another building block in place that leads you to TG..

The problem with most? you assume you are the center of the universe, and that the GPG you grew up with is in fact the right one and this GPG would never allow harm to beset you if he could help it. But the problem? there is no GPG only TD who is simply waiting to help you as he has me...

I grew up mostly in an Evangelical church, but the concept of god just never really hit home for me. I never felt god, but I felt energies. I know, it sounds strange, but i could tell if a person was good or bad just by looking at them, outside I knew something around the house wasn't very kind. I never saw anything, but unexplained growling, feelings of being watched, and I had a fear of this perfectly smooth, flat, large rock at the side of my house. Standing on it felt uneasy, like almost the feeling you get standing on a grave.

But never once had I felt that the God I was taught about was real, but so much has happened in my life that made me more Agnostic in my views. Stuff I just can't really explain, and has made me wonder if the concept of a all love, all powerful, all knowing being is even possible. There is too much in the world for that to be true to me.
I think people have the capacity to be positive or negative, and that we shape our own gods out of our experiences. 

It's just how I believe, may not make much sense to any Atheist, but hey, my beliefs are my own not like I'm going to tell you to believe them. I think people need to find their own belief or even lack their of, you become better off when you base your world around how you've lived and what you've seen than if some preacher man told you to feel a certain way or thing a certain way.