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(Sensitivity required) Coming out to someone
#11
RE: (Sensitivity required) Coming out to someone
One [obvious] question to ask yourself is:

How much do you value your friendship with this person?

Lying is not always wrong, I think (and I say this as an Aspie). Sometimes it's ok to lie, but it's not clear if it's the right thing to do in this instance.

If you tell your friend the truth, do you predict the outcome would overall be better than if you were to keep your thoughts on the supernatural private? How hurt will they be if you tell them?

And obviously, take care of your wellbeing as well. How bad are you struggling with this?
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#12
RE: (Sensitivity required) Coming out to someone
In my view, if the beliefs and/or practices that you share with her are inconsequential and enjoyable, it's questionable whether you want to discombobulate her with some excessive notion of transparency when it's questionable that she can handle said transparency. Every relationship operates on its own (usually multiple) levels, and not every relationship has to be grounded in agreement on existential matters. Indeed, they don't even have to come up for discussion.

Just today my oldest (surviving) brother called and got talkative and groused about the state of the world from his viewpoint as a person still very much in the fundagelical world. I made vaguely sympathetic but non-commital noises. He knows that I no longer believe, but wants to think my views are still, shall we say, pretty traditional just the same. I let him think what he wants and see my lack of overt pushback as participation because it's just not worth it to me to have an ass-kicking contest over. We speak occasionally on the phone and see each other in person every few years (in fact we're planning to this weekend) and I don't want to jeopardize that filial connection by arguing with him about his core beliefs. If they work for him, that's his business and his problem. Given that he is good at minding his own business, it works for us.

On the other hand if you feel distressed and put upon or just simply bored with this aspect of your relationship with your friend, if it is costing you too much / is too consequential, then you may have outgrown the relationship. Just as if my brother tried to drag me to church or shame me for not going or demanding that I agree with him that gays are a blight on society, that might result in me telling him to take a long walk off a short plank until he can learn to respect my boundaries.
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#13
RE: (Sensitivity required) Coming out to someone
I understand it might feel tough to do this, but just do it. You'll feel so much better when it's done, no matter the outcome. If this person refuses to accept you for not believing in ghosts or ouija boards or seances... probably best to leave them behind anyway.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
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