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Current time: April 16, 2024, 5:43 pm
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Things you say to your pets
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 RE: Things you say to your pets
June 30, 2020 at 8:32 am
(This post was last modified: June 30, 2020 at 8:32 am by Peebothuhlu.)
At work.
"Who's a purring claw machine? You are. Yes, you big sook for attention. You purring claw machine you are." 
Or like I just said to one, "Fuck! My stomach's not a pin cushion!"
Dying to live, living to die.
 
My cat s mellow. But he loves waking me up billions of hours before the rooster crows.
"It's not time yet", meaning it isn't time to feed him yet. He crawls on my side in the morning and digs his nose into my ear to wake me up. "Get your tail out of my face". He loves curling up close to my shoulder but flicks his tail around and hits me in the face with it.  RE: Things you say to your pets
July 1, 2020 at 3:40 am
(This post was last modified: July 1, 2020 at 3:45 am by ignoramus.)
Thanks anyway for the huge bowl of whipped cream, but I don't think I can eat it all. (house guests looking forward to scones staring silently)
Get off you little fucker! (cat sniffs 3 plates of food and walks off) I'll wait 5 minutes to see what else the suckers will give me! Eat it or you get nothing you little fucker! I'll spray on his subwoofer, as a friendly reminder of who's house this is! You dirty little fucker! It's one in the morning, I better scream at them to make sure they haven't both died in their bed! Shut up you little fucker! ![[Image: image.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/Bbyw6bQn/image.png) Hello! I think my name's "little fucker"
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. (July 1, 2020 at 3:40 am)ignoramus Wrote: Thanks anyway for the huge bowl of whipped cream, but I don't think I can eat it all. (house guests looking forward to scones staring silently) Last night, pissing down with rain, my cat decided to crawl under the blanket with me, while absolutely soaked through and freezing. Instead of curling up at the end of the bed as she usually does, she curled up against my stomach ( I sleep on my side).
Dying to live, living to die.
(July 1, 2020 at 3:40 am)ignoramus Wrote: Thanks anyway for the huge bowl of whipped cream, but I don't think I can eat it all. (house guests looking forward to scones staring silently) Ha ha ha...... How can you be mean to such a cute face? THAT IS A GHANDI, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR, MALALA, ANNE FRANK FACE. 
I have a cat, so mostly it's "Get down!"
I feel extremely lucky with my current cat. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I can tease him, and even put my palm over his face, and even give him belly bubbles. "Belly bubbles like a parent gives to a baby. And the worst he does is look at me and to say, "Are you done yet?"
My current cat is my best friend. In fact he scared the shit out of me during a hurricane, as to which we tracked hundreds of miles inland to find a hotel. But I got tired of his caterwauling in his cart. So on the trip I let him out to calm him down. But when we reached the hotel, I forgot to put him back in his container. So I open the van door, and go inside and reserve a room, which took me several minutes. So pleased that got a room, I went back out to the van, to discover MY CAT WAS NOT IN THE VAN! I flipped out! I started screaming in the parking lot his name. Lucky for me, there was a black woman noticing my behavior, and I told her my cat got out of the van. So she started looking around the parking lot and spotted him in the bushes close to the entry doors. I cannot thank her enough for her calm and assistance. I can only figure my cat was thinking, "You just pulled me out of my home, there is no way I am leaving your side." |
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