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Current time: November 7, 2024, 11:32 am
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Things not to say on a job interview.
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Interviewer: 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'
Me: 'Five YEARS? I'm just trying to make it to Friday, motherfucker.' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
"My friends call me Five Fingers."
"I like to bid farewell to the customers with, "fuck you, have a shitty day". Interview for bartender, " If your bottles are not measuring exactly to sales, it was because I was having little nip." Interview at Walmart, "I love unions." Interview for public transportation, " Why do I have to have a clean driving record?" Or, " Can I bring a cooler with a 6 pack with me?" "I used to be a Trump staffer."
"I'm hired? Great! Banks are easier to case from the inside. And nobody will blink when I come in armed."
Rand Paul being interviewed at a milk refinery, " Just drink it raw."
Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?
Interviewee: I see red and beat the fuck out of people who ask me questions designed to make me uncomfortable...
"Got any fries to with that.....shake?"
"Nice tits." "Did your parents have any kids that lived?" "What are my skills? Let's ask your mom."
Interviewer: What's this four year gap in your resume?
Applicant: That's when I went to Yale. Interviewer: Very impressive. You're hired. Applicant: Thanks, I really need this yob. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Interviewer: 'What do you make at your current job?'
Applicant: 'Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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