Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Angrboda]

I wonder if I can get the M.C. Hammer dancers to show up at my funeral. That would be a nice touch. "You can't touch this!" Dum-duh-da-dump

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I wonder if I can get the M.C. Hammer dancers to show up at my funeral.  That would be a nice touch.  "You can't touch this!" Dum-duh-da-dump

I'd like a bunch of swarthy, nattily-dressed Mediterranean men at mine, all of them wearing red carnations and sunglasses. Make people wonder what the fuck I was into.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Boru

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

I wonder if I can get the M.C. Hammer dancers to show up at my funeral.  That would be a nice touch.  "You can't touch this!" Dum-duh-da-dump

I'd like a bunch of swarthy, nattily-dressed Mediterranean men at mine, all of them wearing red carnations and sunglasses. Make people wonder what the fuck I was into.

Boru

Sounds great.

My mother hired a lyric tenor to sing Danny Boy at dad's funeral. Totally ruined that song for me.  It wasn't as if he could bloody hear it 

---

Boru

 The mind boggles thinking about what he could do with a pencil. Move over john Wick.

[Fireball]

I'd like a bunch of swarthy, nattily-dressed Mediterranean men at mine, all of them wearing red carnations and sunglasses. Make people wonder what the fuck I was into.

Boru

Sounds great.

My mother hired a lyric tenor to sing Danny Boy at dad's funeral. Totally ruined that song for me.  It wasn't as if he could bloody hear it 

---

Boru

 The mind boggles thinking about what he could do with a pencil. Move over john Wick.

Everybody go    I actually don't know who John Wick is. But I don't need a pencil to kill someone. If he kills them with a pencil through the eye, that doesn't require a pencil.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Sounds great.

My mother hired a lyric tenor to sing Danny Boy at dad's funeral. Totally ruined that song for me.  It wasn't as if he could bloody hear it 

---

 The mind boggles thinking about what he could do with a pencil. Move over john Wick.

Everybody go    I actually don't know who John Wick is. But I don't need a pencil to kill someone. If he kills them with a pencil through the eye, that doesn't require a pencil.

John Wick is an assassin in the cartoon-like John Wick 1,2, and 3. Stars Keanu Reeves. There's a scene in which the Russian Mafia
 Don explains to idiot son that he once saw John Wick kill two men in a bar with a pencil.

Good mindless fun. Pretentiously described as American film noir. 

Wick is not a former hitman. He remains a hitman and remains a psycho .(apparently being able to kill dozens of people one-on-one with apparently no conscience) . Reeves' wooden style of acting really suits the character. Can hardly wait for part 4

John Wick is an American neo-noir action-thriller media franchise created by screenwriter Derek Kolstad and starring Keanu Reeves as John Wick, a former hitman who, in a quest for vengeance, comes out of retirement.

The franchise, which is owned by Lionsgate, began with the release of John Wick in 2014 followed by two sequels, John Wick: Chapter 2 on February 10, 2017, and John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum on May 17, 2019. All three films were considered critical and commercial successes, with a collective gross of more than $587 million worldwide. A fourth installment, John Wick: Chapter 4, is filming and has a release date of May 27, 2022.[1][2][3] A fifth installment is also in development, and was originally intended to be shot back-to-back with the fourth film.[4]

John Wick - Wikipedia

[A. Secular Human]

I'd like a bunch of swarthy, nattily-dressed Mediterranean men at mine, all of them wearing red carnations and sunglasses. Make people wonder what the fuck I was into.

Boru

Sounds great.

My mother hired a lyric tenor to sing Danny Boy at dad's funeral. Totally ruined that song for me.  It wasn't as if he could bloody hear it 

---

Boru

 The mind boggles thinking about what he could do with a pencil. Move over john Wick.

I'd bet he could commit Muppet genocide with a seam ripper!

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Don't know why this suddenly popped into my head, it would have to be at least 50 years old:

In court, defendant "---and then your honour, momentarily forgetting I held the hot iron, I slapped the deceased"

[no one]

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

 
Once worked with a bloke who had mastered the art of sleeping with his eyes open.  A wonderful  talent to have in the civil service. There was another bloke who just sat quietly at his desk not bothering anyone. Took me two years to realise the reason he was so quiet was that he was always baked.