Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[ignoramus]

If this ain't the cutest thing, I'll go hey!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

People who dress up their pets should be beaten soundly about the head and shoulders with a thick stick. If you really, truly desire to humiliate a living thing that is totally in you power and has no way to stop this aberrant psychological torment, do what normal people do: have children.

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

Donald Trump to be humanely euthanised after falling in the Presidential race.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Why ‘humanely’? You going soft on us, luv?

Boru

[The Valkyrie]

Why ‘humanely’? You going soft on us, luv?

Boru

Well, suggesting that the president be shot may violate a rule or two here and upset the FBI agents who are monitoring us.

Sorry, Phil!

[Sal]

People who dress up their pets should be beaten soundly about the head and shoulders with a thick stick. If you really, truly desire to humiliate a living thing that is totally in you power and has no way to stop this aberrant psychological torment, do what normal people do: have children.

Boru

I would just convince them that dogs aren't people by what dog & animal behavioral researchers have found out; when a pet dog owner is shouting at the little pupper with a raised and stern voice because it pooped on the owner's favorite rug, people being people ascribe a very common anthropomorphic interpretation of the pup with its head down & looking up at this asshole, sitting all hunched, is that the unknowing pupper is displaying guilt - a very human emotion - when it's actually fear.

Same bullshit anthropomorphic interpretations are done to dog behavior, about any number of interactions between people & dogs. The guilt tripping is just the most annoying one, IMO.

Also, if you own a pug(s), I don't care who you are, a famous YTer with more than 100 million subscribers or some other rando, you're an objectively bad person.

Humans don't deserve the unquestioning loyalty and unconditional love from these creatures so many have (ab)used. Fuck, I sound like a PETA spook.

Go take your dog for a walk. They love that.

Here's something ironically funny from SMBC:
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/slug

---

I need a drink.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

People who dress up their pets should be beaten soundly about the head and shoulders with a thick stick. If you really, truly desire to humiliate a living thing that is totally in you power and has no way to stop this aberrant psychological torment, do what normal people do: have children.

Boru

I would just convince them that dogs aren't people by what dog & animal behavioral researchers have found out; when a pet dog owner is shouting at the little pupper with a raised and stern voice because it pooped on the owner's favorite rug, people being people ascribe a very common anthropomorphic interpretation of the pup with its head down & looking up at this asshole, sitting all hunched, is that the unknowing pupper is displaying guilt - a very human emotion - when it's actually fear.

Same bullshit anthropomorphic interpretations are done to dog behavior, about any number of interactions between people & dogs. The guilt tripping is just the most annoying one, IMO.

Also, if you own a pug(s), I don't care who you are, a famous YTer with more than 100 million subscribers or some other rando, you're an objectively bad person.

Humans don't deserve the unquestioning loyalty and unconditional love from these creatures so many have (ab)used. Fuck, I sound like a PETA spook.

Go take your dog for a walk. They love that.

Here's something ironically funny from SMBC:
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/slug

---

I need a drink.

We have cats. Their love and loyalty is both highly conditional and EXTREMELY questioning.

Boru

[Sal]

Although I have this melodramatic love for dogs (I am a "dog person"), we deserve cats a lot more than dogs. Dogs are on an entirely different tier, and I don't think they're really comparable, at all, IMO.

Mistreat a cat, and you'll bloody well will find out when it's clawing at your eyeballs. Besides, cats don't actually need us, like dogs probably do, their "relationship" (if you can call it that) with humans is that of convenience, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing like a lot of other "dog people" might think. Good mice & rat catchers too.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Although I have this melodramatic love for dogs (I am a "dog person"), we deserve cats a lot more than dogs. Dogs are on an entirely different tier, and I don't think they're really comparable, at all, IMO.

Mistreat a cat, and you'll bloody well will find out when it's clawing at your eyeballs. Besides, cats don't actually need us, like dogs probably do, their "relationship" (if you can call it that) with humans is that of convenience, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing like a lot of other "dog people" might think. Good mice & rat catchers too.

‘A man who carries a cat home by its tail will learn 40% more about cats than a man who doesn’t.’ - Mark Twain

Boru

[arewethereyet]

I have three dogs who think I am the best thing ever...of course, I buy their food, snacks, toys, pay for grooming and vet care...so maybe they are just faking it so I don't stop the gravy train.

The cat allows me a few minutes of attention every few days. He is awfully bitchy though.

The parrots I haven't figured out yet though Chewy seems to be a bit pessimistic about life in general as her favorite word is "Nope".

I needed a variety of personalities since the kids are grown and gone.