Posts: 12270
Threads: 125
Joined: January 11, 2010
Reputation:
45
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 12:45 pm
I think there's a Cracked.com article about the many reasons that a Zombie Apocalypse would fail after a few weeks
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-s...ickly.html
Here's my summary of the reasons
1) They would have a lot of predators ranging in size from bears to the lowly maggot, assuming that they lack the self-awareness to swat away flies.
2) Heat will cause them to putrefy, and explode, or, in some cases mummify.
3) The cold will give them freezer burn.
4) Biting is a really inefficient way to spread a disease, and, even if there is an outbreak, the CDC will do their damnedest to have it contained.
5) If they lack the self-awareness to feel pain, their wounds will likely add up.
6) The world as it is could very well be a zombie deathtrap: If they don't see at night or lack the foresight to not walk off bridges, then things like bridges could kill many zombies. Indeed, major cities could be like an abbatoir for zombies, where the streets could very well corral them so that people in high-rise buildings can snipe them.
7) Weapons.
6)
7)
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Posts: 6300
Threads: 78
Joined: May 14, 2011
Reputation:
82
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Trades for an post-apocalyptic world, hmmm.. Well, here is what I would have to offer:
1) I'm good at nursing, so if I got my hand on some medicinal equipment I could take pretty well care of people. I just realized though that I need to buy a book about medicinal plants and memorize them..
2) I've been a scout for 8 years, so I know how to build stuff from what nature has to offer. I can also fish and prepare the fucker, if I manage to catch something. I'm also good at making fire without matches.
3) I'm good to have in a group, since I don't give up easily. Morale boosts will be needed and someone to push others forward.
4) I know how to and am willing to fight, if necessary.
5) I learn quickly and have a good memory. I'm also good at improvising.
Um, yeah, that's about it 
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
Posts: 67352
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
161
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm
(This post was last modified: September 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
(September 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm)Kayenneh Wrote: 4) I know how to and am willing to fight, if necessary.
The Great Armies of the Hazel Empire of the North will need such people.
(I also bring a propensity for violence and knowledge of hasty fortifications and improvised explosives to the table, because once we're done killing zombies we're going to need to get back down to business killing each other. Can't have people rummaging through our favorite scavenging piles can we?)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 6300
Threads: 78
Joined: May 14, 2011
Reputation:
82
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 1:37 pm
(September 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Can't have people rummaging through our favorite scavenging piles can we?
Why, indeed we can't!
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
Posts: 5652
Threads: 133
Joined: May 10, 2011
Reputation:
69
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm
(September 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm)Rhythm Wrote: improvised explosives
Ah, there is another thing I can do... Get me one of those play chemistry sets and I'll make shit go BOOM!
Posts: 67352
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
161
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm
All I need is a bucket of urine..lol.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 5652
Threads: 133
Joined: May 10, 2011
Reputation:
69
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Nice!
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm
This may sound trivial to some, but I believe my skills would best be suited for psychological support. Someone's going to have to keep everyone from getting suicidal from all of the death and destruction. I'm not trained in this area but have dealt with these issues, and I understand human nature.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Posts: 5652
Threads: 133
Joined: May 10, 2011
Reputation:
69
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Can you also give back rubs?
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: After the Zombie Apocaplypse - Serious Questions for an Unserious Topic
September 9, 2011 at 4:19 pm
No, but I will be willing to smoke a lot of pot with everyone to keep them calm. If Rhythym and Summer are as good at growing shit as they say, it should be potent.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
|
