Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 13, 2026, 10:32 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Ask a Mortician

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Ask a Mortician
Erinome Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Godless
Posts: 3158
Threads: 132
Joined: September 1, 2011
Reputation: 44
#1
Wink 
Ask a Mortician
November 5, 2011 at 3:02 am
I am a person who is intrigued by death. Some call it morbid or creepy, but I think it's 100% human, so I don't beat myself up about it.

Anyway, I found this cool ass video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...TCg6PGaOkM#!

Hope she makes more!
42

Find
Reply
Kayenneh Offline
Anla'Shok
*****
Religious Views: We live for The One, we die for The One.
Posts: 6300
Threads: 78
Joined: May 14, 2011
Reputation: 82
#2
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 5, 2011 at 6:26 am (This post was last modified: November 5, 2011 at 6:26 am by Kayenneh.)
Alei, work at a nursing home, there is plenty of that for every one to go around Wink

But no, I agree with you. Death is the only thing that is certain in this world, so why not know as much as possible about it? Smile
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

Find
Reply
KichigaiNeko Away
Grumpy 'Old W.H.O.R.E.'
*****
Religious Views: who?
Posts: 12512
Threads: 202
Joined: January 3, 2010
Reputation: 107
#3
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 5, 2011 at 6:38 am (This post was last modified: November 5, 2011 at 6:38 am by KichigaiNeko.)
Maybe I have found a new direction?? Smile Heart it!!
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Find
Reply
fr0d0 Offline
H0ary H0bbit
Religious Views: “Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.” - Edgar Allan Poe
Posts: 14259
Threads: 48
Joined: March 1, 2009
Reputation: 80
#4
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 5, 2011 at 7:01 am
Haha! Big Grin

She's as sexy as Morticia Adams.
Find
Reply
Zen Badger Offline
Life @ the speed of bike
****
Religious Views: I like 3.14159
Posts: 5389
Threads: 52
Joined: January 3, 2010
Reputation: 48
#5
Ask a Mortician
November 5, 2011 at 7:27 am
Death and taxes. And death you only have to do once.
[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
Find
Reply
Phaedra Offline
Bhang Bhang
**
Religious Views: None
Posts: 487
Threads: 3
Joined: September 28, 2011
Reputation: 16
#6
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 20, 2011 at 1:57 am
Thanks for posting this, Alei! I've often thought of becoming a mortician. I share your fascination of death and dying. People go nuts over babies being born, why not death as well? It is just as natural.
That will never hold up in court...
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69246
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 258
#7
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 20, 2011 at 2:17 am (This post was last modified: November 20, 2011 at 2:17 am by Minimalist.)
My favorite mortician joke:

Quote:A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest penis he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive penis. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"
Find
Reply
Oldandeasilyconfused Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Agnostic Atheist
Posts: 7388
Threads: 168
Joined: February 25, 2009
Reputation: 45
#8
RE: Ask a Mortician
November 20, 2011 at 4:03 am
As it turns out, my sister-in-law-law is a mortician.Their gimmick;they're called 'White Ladies'. No men and they wear white outfits with broad brimmed navy blue hats.No male morticians means no Muslim funerals.

I once mentioned my fear of premature burial.

Her response; "Ah,don't worry about that. If you're not dead when you arrive, you bloody well are by the time we're finished with you" For some strange reason, I didn't find that terribly reassuring. Thinking
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
Ask a Mortician

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Ask me anything FrustratedFool 31 7985 August 30, 2023 at 12:23 pm
Last Post: awty
Information Ask an expert? onlinebiker 10 1888 February 13, 2021 at 4:40 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Ask me anything Lucanus 41 11148 August 21, 2018 at 8:36 pm
Last Post: Fireball
  Still a Christian - ask me questions/tell me about yourselves speedyj1992 194 72466 December 2, 2017 at 5:32 am
Last Post: downbeatplumb
  Ask a CL Catholic_Lady 113 29567 October 8, 2017 at 4:00 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Ask me questions for my next accent tag Paraselene 6 2071 July 23, 2017 at 12:04 pm
Last Post: brewer
  How do I ask someone out? ScienceAf 97 24461 August 21, 2016 at 2:15 am
Last Post: Paraselene
  The Ask Questions In Your Mind Answer Them Out Loud Game Edwardo Piet 30 4984 April 26, 2016 at 6:55 am
Last Post: Little lunch
  Ask a turtely turtle/Ask Evie Edwardo Piet 5 2726 December 19, 2015 at 2:55 pm
Last Post: Edwardo Piet
  What would you ask from god if he existed? rado84 20 6606 July 1, 2015 at 9:50 pm
Last Post: dyresand



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)