Exactly. The actual words someone uses are of little concern to me. I don't get offended by them. It is, as you say, the intent behind them that matters. When someone I care about lashes out at me, it hurts, whether they use calm language or a round of swearing.

(January 11, 2016 at 9:37 am)robvalue Wrote: Exactly. The actual words someone uses are of little concern to me. I don't get offended by them. It is, as you say, the intent behind them that matters. When someone I care about lashes out at me, it hurts, whether they use calm language or a round of swearing.

Kinda hard imagining someone insulting an all round nice guy like you.

That's very sweet of you, thank you

It doesn't happen too often, I'm happy to say.

(January 11, 2016 at 6:14 am)Quantum Wrote: Ok, so you're no psychopath. So, is your occasional display of callousness some kind of coping mechanism because you are deep down a sensitive individual? Imaginable. I can easily imagine that someone sensitive would, confronted with the horrors of the world, kind of try to turn himself into stone in order to remove the pain. But I'm just speculating, but curious.

You must know that happens, Kitan. It's how people often protect themselves, when they've seen or experienced too much. And it's not always a deliberate act. 

People who don't know me well, often perceive me as cold and indifferent in regards to death. I've even held that perception of myself, at times. For the most part, I only feel sincere emotional distress when I have a personal attachment to the person(s) involved, and even then it's not always obvious to others. The primary reason for this is that I've witnessed many deaths by vocation, many of them being quite horrific. Personal factors come into play as well.

I'm not cruel or uncaring and I don't believe you are, either. A degree of detachment is often what it takes to live life without falling apart. Just try not to be a dick about it, okay? 

People may take you for a monster, when you're actually a somewhat fuzzy caterpillar.

double post

(January 11, 2016 at 10:15 am)robvalue Wrote: That's very sweet of you, thank you

It doesn't happen too often, I'm happy to say.

You're welcome.


Personally, i was oversensitive in my youth which caused anxiety and depression.Actually, around the time i became an atheist i started judging peoples negative opinions on me as insignificant.Why worry or care about something that has no impact on your life?

There are some negatives by thinking this way but it has provided me with a major confidence boost to get over some of the hurdles of life.

(January 11, 2016 at 3:44 am)Kitan Wrote: Is it wrong that I am not moved by death?

I feel nothing when I learn about the death of another.

Nothing at all? You don't feel sorry and sad for the people who lost their child/sibling/parent/spouse?

(January 11, 2016 at 7:06 am)Stimbo Wrote: Your last sentence contradicts everything you say before it. If Quantum or anyone else is being honest about the way they feel, and if that attitude just happens to be about the way you feel, you should not be affected by it. Telling them to grow the fuck up belies the inference that you are. Thus the further inference is that you are likely not as honest with yourself about the way you feel as you might wish to think you are.

QFT.

(January 11, 2016 at 10:35 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(January 11, 2016 at 3:44 am)Kitan Wrote: Is it wrong that I am not moved by death?

I feel nothing when I learn about the death of another.

Nothing at all? You don't feel sorry and sad for the people who lost their child/sibling/parent/spouse?

You would be surprised how many people think along the lines of "i'm glad that didn't happen to me"

(January 11, 2016 at 10:26 am)Thena323 Wrote:

(January 11, 2016 at 6:14 am)Quantum Wrote: Ok, so you're no psychopath. So, is your occasional display of callousness some kind of coping mechanism because you are deep down a sensitive individual? Imaginable. I can easily imagine that someone sensitive would, confronted with the horrors of the world, kind of try to turn himself into stone in order to remove the pain. But I'm just speculating, but curious.

You must know that happens, Kitan. It's how people often protect themselves, when they've seen or experienced too much. And it's not always a deliberate act. 

People who don't know me well, often perceive me as cold and indifferent in regards to death. I've even held that perception of myself, at times. For the most part, I only feel sincere emotional distress when I have a personal attachment to the person(s) involved, and even then it's not always obvious to others. The primary reason for this is that I've witnessed many deaths by vocation, many of them being quite horrific.

Everybody's different I guess. I've had people basically die under my hands and seen disfigured corpses, and somehow I still don't cheer on mass murderers to kill some more, like some thread starters do. Maybe that means that *I* am the psychopath? That must be it.