Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: May 15, 2024, 3:57 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
ApeNotKillApe Offline
Goalpost chaperone
***
Religious Views: Orthodoxymoron
Posts: 2292
Threads: 16
Joined: September 28, 2015
Reputation: 24
#1071
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 2:39 pm
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
I am John Cena's hip-hop album.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34762
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#1072
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 2:44 pm
(January 26, 2016 at 2:39 pm)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

I bought a new parrot.

He was hungry.

So I fed him polyfilla.

Now he's an ex-parrot!

Sad
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#1073
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 4:47 pm
How does a 300 pound parrot ask for cracker?

Polly wants a cracker, NOW!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
Stabby Titz
*******
Religious Views: Outdated
Posts: 34762
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 145
#1074
RE: joke time
January 26, 2016 at 4:48 pm
What was born to succeed?

A budgie with a blunt beak.
Dying to live, living to die.
Find
Reply
ApeNotKillApe Offline
Goalpost chaperone
***
Religious Views: Orthodoxymoron
Posts: 2292
Threads: 16
Joined: September 28, 2015
Reputation: 24
#1075
RE: joke time
January 27, 2016 at 7:14 am
I have some powdered water but I don't know what to add.
I am John Cena's hip-hop album.
Find
Reply
Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
****
Religious Views: Happy Heathen
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#1076
RE: joke time
January 30, 2016 at 12:53 pm
Did you hear about the robbery in this lady's backyard? Two clothes pins held up a shirt.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 44182
Threads: 530
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#1077
RE: joke time
January 30, 2016 at 2:23 pm
(January 27, 2016 at 7:14 am)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: I have some powdered water but I don't know what to add.

Reminds me of the time I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Find
Reply
Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
****
Religious Views: Happy Heathen
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#1078
RE: joke time
January 30, 2016 at 2:57 pm
(January 30, 2016 at 2:23 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(January 27, 2016 at 7:14 am)ApeNotKillApe Wrote: I have some powdered water but I don't know what to add.

Reminds me of the time I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Boru

That must have been down the aisle from the smoke detector that read "For best results, hold directly over flame."
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Find
Reply
Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
*****
Religious Views: Pastafarian
Posts: 28384
Threads: 226
Joined: March 24, 2014
Reputation: 185
#1079
RE: joke time
January 31, 2016 at 4:10 am
(January 25, 2016 at 4:09 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(January 24, 2016 at 10:51 am)Brian37 Wrote: Yea, that really isn't something you can fuck up on. Not like a Bugs Bunny or Roadrunner cartoon. SPLAT will put a big damper on your day.

Actually I have a friend who survived a skydiving mishap.  His parachute failed to deploy properly.  He broke his back.

Ouch. D:
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Find
Reply
Rhondazvous Offline
Help Me, Rhonda
****
Religious Views: Happy Heathen
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation: 42
#1080
RE: joke time
February 1, 2016 at 11:43 am
(January 31, 2016 at 4:10 am)Losty Wrote:
(January 25, 2016 at 4:09 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Actually I have a friend who survived a skydiving mishap.  His parachute failed to deploy properly.  He broke his back.

Ouch. D:

You know, they say you don't need a parachute if you're only going to jump once.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2358 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2830 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1511 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2394 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17201 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4349 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9055 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1911 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4535 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2900 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 6 Guest(s)