Wow, Rob. That's so similar to what happened to me in October. My legs didn't respond. I had been in the hospital for two hours already when I began to feel them again. It's like I gave up for two hours. 

I'm so sorry for all your battles. You're so fortunate to have your loving wife. She seems so special. My ex wasn't loving when I was in crisis. Now that I'm alone, he notices I'm feeling fresh and revitalized, and it confuses him. I feel like I can fly! 

You know what else helps? 

Awww side note! Miss newbie has 20 reps now! Lol It's a humble amount, but I can't complain after just 1.5 months. 

(April 10, 2016 at 12:12 pm)LastPoet Wrote:

(April 10, 2016 at 3:12 am)The_Empress Wrote: In addition to Rob's and Mama's contris, depression for me is like an ant farm, where I've been digging tunnels, trying to get somewhere, and next thing I know, I've dug my own maze with no way of knowing which direction I came from or where I should go; trying to figure out if there's even a point to getting there.

I'm sloooooowly coming out of the worst episode of my life. Some days are ok; some days are shit. Today was kind of shit, but not unbearable shit.

Some days I have a bloodlust that is somewhat unbearable, then I let off some steam, usually at those that are my friends. Shit. I don't get depressed, I leave a wake of mayhem. Been working on that with my technician, as usually, bursting out steam hurt more the ones I love than the ones that harmed me. I will not be defeated.

I absolutely love how you ended that post.

(April 10, 2016 at 1:36 pm)Mamacita Wrote: Wow, Rob. That's so similar to what happened to me in October. My legs didn't respond. I had been in the hospital for two hours already when I began to feel them again. It's like I gave up for two hours. 

I'm so sorry for all your battles. You're so fortunate to have your loving wife. She seems so special. My ex wasn't loving when I was in crisis. Now that I'm alone, he notices I'm feeling fresh and revitalized, and it confuses him. I feel like I can fly! 

You know what else helps? 

Thank you so much. I am incredibly lucky. It makes me feel even more guilty that I can be so blessed with her, yet be still very depressed.

I'm very sorry your ex wasn't loving, that's awful You deserve so much better. I don't know how he could be like that.

It does sound like we had similar experiences. I'm glad we both convinced our bodies to start fighting again! We'll support each other and get through it all

I use the word "paralysis" all the time; just use it talking to my therapist on Friday, even. It was the first he'd heard of the new dream job going south.

(April 10, 2016 at 2:40 pm)The_Empress Wrote: I use the word "paralysis" all the time; just use it talking to my therapist on Friday, even. It was the first he'd heard of the new dream job going south.

Fuck. Sorry, hermosa. I'm already thinking of ways to make it up to you, though I know nothing I do will be enough. I hope it helps, at least.

(April 10, 2016 at 3:05 pm)Mamacita Wrote:

(April 10, 2016 at 2:40 pm)The_Empress Wrote: I use the word "paralysis" all the time; just use it talking to my therapist on Friday, even. It was the first he'd heard of the new dream job going south.

Fuck. Sorry, hermosa. I'm already thinking of ways to make it up to you, though I know nothing I do will be enough. I hope it helps, at least.

(April 10, 2016 at 2:40 pm)The_Empress Wrote: I use the word "paralysis" all the time; just use it talking to my therapist on Friday, even. It was the first he'd heard of the new dream job going south.

I'm very sorry to hear this Becca I wish I was coming along too so I could look after you

You guys are the best. I wish you were coming too, Rob

It's a shame I live so far away. I'm sure we'd all get on great!

I'm always here if anyone needs to talk

I don't know why, but my depression has been creeping back the last week or so. I started off well yesterday, but then I felt increasingly sad as the day went on. I don't know what's making me fragile, I've been relatively strong for a good few months now. My wife is taking the day off to look after me. I've been feeling very negative and despondent, for no particular reason. Well, I'm sick to death of being so tired all the time of course.