(December 24, 2017 at 3:14 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I actually did join the adult section for a while because I wanted to see the deeper issues in the Adult Lounge subforum. But it was very innactive, and the A69 subforum wasn't my thing. Mainly talk of masturbation and porn. No thanks!

So I had Tib remove me.

And I even bring up the two subjects occasionally on the main board. It's almost like that subforum is redundant.

Ohhhhhhhh it's not redundant

There's some sexy pics in there

(December 22, 2017 at 4:43 am)Jehanne Wrote: ...if you are:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017...lator.html

I'm supposedly getting $1,192/ year in "tax cuts". But my health insurance premiums at work are going up. So there goes that.

Also, I'd rather have bridges that don't collapse, airports where the power always stays on, health care when my kid and I need it and not be flipping burgers when I'm 80 instead of retirement. I'd take that over $1,192.

-Teresa

Yeah, they are going after Medicare, Social Security, infrastructure, etc., all in the name of deficit reduction. The 3-headed hydra has 1 more year of life.

(December 22, 2017 at 1:45 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(December 22, 2017 at 12:40 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: Your husband is a lucky man.

That's about a months worth for me.

In Catholicism married couples are not supposed to deny each other of sex unless there is legitimate reason. "I'm not in the mood", is usually not a good enough reason unless there is something else going on. Otherwise, if you're simply just not feeling horny, try harder. For your spouse.

(Eta, those last couple sentences were not directed at you. They are directed at the People who withhold sex from their spouse simply because they're not feeling horny.)

Im sorry, but thats just selfish. If my partner isnt in the mood, I dont demand that she try harder. I just let her be or cuddle instead, and vice versa. People arent always going to feel horny when Im feeling horny.

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(December 23, 2017 at 12:37 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote:

(December 23, 2017 at 12:32 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: I love how this thread turned into sex talk

A lot more interesting than taxes.

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(December 23, 2017 at 12:33 pm)Hammy Wrote: That seems like a pretty fucking apt reason to me.

Until you aren't getting laid enough because your partner isn't horny. Catholic Lady is right, married people, of both genders need to put out when their partners want. Elsewise it's a major relationship killer. Even if you aren't horny in that exact moment, you will be. Unless the person is a total unteachable doofus in bed.

Another super important one is that both partners initiate sex. Nothing is more annoying then being the only one. But as an atheist free of moral hang ups, I can just find myself a nice and horny girl.

What a selfish thing to say. Fuck how your partner feels. If youre horny she better be horny as well. Right? Lol ...

(December 24, 2017 at 8:17 pm)Grandizer Wrote:

(December 22, 2017 at 1:45 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: In Catholicism married couples are not supposed to deny each other of sex unless there is legitimate reason. "I'm not in the mood", is usually not a good enough reason unless there is something else going on. Otherwise, if you're simply just not feeling horny, try harder. For your spouse.

(Eta, those last couple sentences were not directed at you. They are directed at the People who withhold sex from their spouse simply because they're not feeling horny.)

Im sorry, but thats just selfish. If my partner isnt in the mood, I dont demand that she try harder. I just let her be or cuddle instead, and vice versa. People arent always going to feel horny when Im feeling horny.

---

(December 23, 2017 at 12:37 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: A lot more interesting than taxes.

---

Until you aren't getting laid enough because your partner isn't horny.  Catholic Lady is right, married people, of both genders need to put out when their partners want. Elsewise it's a major relationship killer. Even if you aren't horny in that exact moment,  you will be. Unless the person is a total unteachable doofus in bed.

Another super important one is that both partners initiate sex. Nothing is more annoying then being the only one. But as an atheist free of moral hang ups, I can just find myself a nice and horny girl.

What a selfish thing to say. Fuck how your partner feels. If youre horny she better be horny as well. Right? Lol ...

It's not surprising. Captain Awesome is far from awesome. He should be called Captain Asshole. And he seems to think he's a hell of a lot smarter than he actually is.

I wouldn't even fucking want someone to fuck me if they weren't in the mood for fucking me because that would be just weird.

But it's not surprising that he's fine with pressuring women for sex considering he's such a stuck up jerk in general.

First off, I went through the Catholic Marriage prep course as well back in the day, and I can confirm we got the same 'family planning' pitch CL is talking about. There was no 'Sex is for procreation only' angle. They really sold it as a super important/great thing two people in love get to do and should do a lot.
---
On the topic of 'being in the mood', I think you folks are misreading CL's position quite a bit.

Sex in marriage takes commitment because the path of least resistance is a sexless marriage. It's like being healthy. People tend to want to eat healthy. They want to go to the gym. But they often don't, because it's just easier not to.

Marriage sex is very similar. I think the misunderstanding is over the terms 'not horny' and 'not in the mood.' There's the real situations where you just aren't feeling it, and you wouldn't enjoy it if you did have sex. I don't think anyone is advocating that person has to have sex. And in a healthy marriage, the other partner wouldn't pressure them in that scenario. But then there's the much more common 'I'd rather just binge something on Netflix.' type situation. Where 'not being in the mood' is about priorities rather than not wanting to have sex. If I'm reading what CL is writing correctly, I think she's saying she wants to make sure sex doesn't lose it's place of importance in her relationship.

I don't think CL is saying people should be forced to fuck if they're exhausted after a 16 hour shift, and couldn't stay awake. I think she's saying both partners need to be committed to making their physical relationship a priority.

And that's probably the other thing that's being lost on the group. In modern Catholicism, marriage is supposed to be (regardless of what it is in practice, or was taught to be 300 years ago) a team sport in a way that just doesn't appeal/make sense to most people. One person can't be happy if the other is unhappy. It's symbiotic. It's just a different attitude than the 'Take care of yourself first' outlook that we're taught today. The idea of being selfless in a relationship is a big leap of faith. But that's why marriage is supposed to be forever for them. Both people are really committing to something significant, and they're taking a big risk in doing so.

Again, I'm guessing at CL's mindset, but I bet making her husband happy makes her really happy. And I imagine making CL happy makes Mr. CL really happy. To the point that making each other happy is the thing that makes them happiest. That's what the guidelines being presented are meant to funnel people towards.

But that's just Catholicism suggestions and the CL family. We're all free to do whatever we want. I've been married 15 years myself, and I can say that the more sex we are having, the better the relationship is across the board. And it's not just about saying 'I demand to be fucked.' It's about the work being put into the relationship, and making sure not to get lazy or take it for granted.

And that's all I have to say about my tax returns.

(December 24, 2017 at 11:57 pm)wallym Wrote: First off, I went through the Catholic Marriage prep course as well back in the day, and I can confirm we got the same 'family planning' pitch CL is talking about. There was no 'Sex is for procreation only' angle. They really sold it as a super important/great thing two people in love get to do and should do a lot.
---
On the topic of 'being in the mood', I think you folks are misreading CL's position quite a bit.

Sex in marriage takes commitment because the path of least resistance is a sexless marriage. It's like being healthy. People tend to want to eat healthy. They want to go to the gym. But they often don't, because it's just easier not to.

Marriage sex is very similar. I think the misunderstanding is over the terms 'not horny' and 'not in the mood.' There's the real situations where you just aren't feeling it, and you wouldn't enjoy it if you did have sex. I don't think anyone is advocating that person has to have sex. And in a healthy marriage, the other partner wouldn't pressure them in that scenario. But then there's the much more common 'I'd rather just binge something on Netflix.' type situation. Where 'not being in the mood' is about priorities rather than not wanting to have sex. If I'm reading what CL is writing correctly, I think she's saying she wants to make sure sex doesn't lose it's place of importance in her relationship.

I don't think CL is saying people should be forced to fuck if they're exhausted after a 16 hour shift, and couldn't stay awake. I think she's saying both partners need to be committed to making their physical relationship a priority.

And that's probably the other thing that's being lost on the group. In modern Catholicism, marriage is supposed to be (regardless of what it is in practice, or was taught to be 300 years ago) a team sport in a way that just doesn't appeal/make sense to most people. One person can't be happy if the other is unhappy. It's symbiotic. It's just a different attitude than the 'Take care of yourself first' outlook that we're taught today. The idea of being selfless in a relationship is a big leap of faith. But that's why marriage is supposed to be forever for them. Both people are really committing to something significant, and they're taking a big risk in doing so.

Again, I'm guessing at CL's mindset, but I bet making her husband happy makes her really happy. And I imagine making CL happy makes Mr. CL really happy. To the point that making each other happy is the thing that makes them happiest. That's what the guidelines being presented are meant to funnel people towards.

But that's just Catholicism suggestions and the CL family. We're all free to do whatever we want. I've been married 15 years myself, and I can say that the more sex we are having, the better the relationship is across the board. And it's not just about saying 'I demand to be fucked.' It's about the work being put into the relationship, and making sure not to get lazy or take it for granted.

And that's all I have to say about my tax returns.

I didnt see the caveats you speak of in her post, but if you are accurately representing what she meant to say, then thats fair. Sort of. Id rather have a talk with my partner and see whats on her mind in case of a recurrent feeling of not being in the mood for sex. And then work on it from there. Sex can wait in such case.

And, now, it's time to "pay" for those tax cuts:

Ryan says Republicans to target welfare, Medicare, Medicaid spending in 2018

(December 24, 2017 at 8:17 pm)Grandizer Wrote:

(December 22, 2017 at 1:45 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: In Catholicism married couples are not supposed to deny each other of sex unless there is legitimate reason. "I'm not in the mood", is usually not a good enough reason unless there is something else going on. Otherwise, if you're simply just not feeling horny, try harder. For your spouse.

(Eta, those last couple sentences were not directed at you. They are directed at the People who withhold sex from their spouse simply because they're not feeling horny.)

Im sorry, but thats just selfish. If my partner isnt in the mood, I dont demand that she try harder. I just let her be or cuddle instead, and vice versa. People arent always going to feel horny when Im feeling horny.

---

(December 23, 2017 at 12:37 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: A lot more interesting than taxes.

---

Until you aren't getting laid enough because your partner isn't horny. Catholic Lady is right, married people, of both genders need to put out when their partners want. Elsewise it's a major relationship killer. Even if you aren't horny in that exact moment, you will be. Unless the person is a total unteachable doofus in bed.

Another super important one is that both partners initiate sex. Nothing is more annoying then being the only one. But as an atheist free of moral hang ups, I can just find myself a nice and horny girl.

What a selfish thing to say. Fuck how your partner feels. If youre horny she better be horny as well. Right? Lol ...

Who said anything about demanding? Its not about the horny person demanding it, that's not right either.

---

(December 24, 2017 at 8:25 pm)Hammy Wrote:

(December 24, 2017 at 8:17 pm)Grandizer Wrote: Im sorry, but thats just selfish. If my partner isnt in the mood, I dont demand that she try harder. I just let her be or cuddle instead, and vice versa. People arent always going to feel horny when Im feeling horny.

---

What a selfish thing to say. Fuck how your partner feels. If youre horny she better be horny as well. Right? Lol ...

It's not surprising. Captain Awesome is far from awesome. He should be called Captain Asshole. And he seems to think he's a hell of a lot smarter than he actually is.

I wouldn't even fucking want someone to fuck me if they weren't in the mood for fucking me because that would be just weird.

But it's not surprising that he's fine with pressuring women for sex considering he's such a stuck up jerk in general.

Again, not about pressuring. When I'm not really in the mood and I can tell my husband is, instead of shutting him down, I just get started with it anyway. And once you get started, the horniness usually comes. No one is pressuring anyone. And I'm sure he does the same for me too when he's not really feeling it and I am.

---

(December 24, 2017 at 11:57 pm)wallym Wrote: First off, I went through the Catholic Marriage prep course as well back in the day, and I can confirm we got the same 'family planning' pitch CL is talking about. There was no 'Sex is for procreation only' angle. They really sold it as a super important/great thing two people in love get to do and should do a lot.
---
On the topic of 'being in the mood', I think you folks are misreading CL's position quite a bit.

Sex in marriage takes commitment because the path of least resistance is a sexless marriage. It's like being healthy. People tend to want to eat healthy. They want to go to the gym. But they often don't, because it's just easier not to.

Marriage sex is very similar. I think the misunderstanding is over the terms 'not horny' and 'not in the mood.' There's the real situations where you just aren't feeling it, and you wouldn't enjoy it if you did have sex. I don't think anyone is advocating that person has to have sex. And in a healthy marriage, the other partner wouldn't pressure them in that scenario. But then there's the much more common 'I'd rather just binge something on Netflix.' type situation. Where 'not being in the mood' is about priorities rather than not wanting to have sex. If I'm reading what CL is writing correctly, I think she's saying she wants to make sure sex doesn't lose it's place of importance in her relationship.

I don't think CL is saying people should be forced to fuck if they're exhausted after a 16 hour shift, and couldn't stay awake. I think she's saying both partners need to be committed to making their physical relationship a priority.

And that's probably the other thing that's being lost on the group. In modern Catholicism, marriage is supposed to be (regardless of what it is in practice, or was taught to be 300 years ago) a team sport in a way that just doesn't appeal/make sense to most people. One person can't be happy if the other is unhappy. It's symbiotic. It's just a different attitude than the 'Take care of yourself first' outlook that we're taught today. The idea of being selfless in a relationship is a big leap of faith. But that's why marriage is supposed to be forever for them. Both people are really committing to something significant, and they're taking a big risk in doing so.

Again, I'm guessing at CL's mindset, but I bet making her husband happy makes her really happy. And I imagine making CL happy makes Mr. CL really happy. To the point that making each other happy is the thing that makes them happiest. That's what the guidelines being presented are meant to funnel people towards.

But that's just Catholicism suggestions and the CL family. We're all free to do whatever we want. I've been married 15 years myself, and I can say that the more sex we are having, the better the relationship is across the board. And it's not just about saying 'I demand to be fucked.' It's about the work being put into the relationship, and making sure not to get lazy or take it for granted.

And that's all I have to say about my tax returns.

Yes, thank you.

So tired of the accusations of pressuring, forcing, and even borderline rape. Sheesh, guys.

---

(December 25, 2017 at 4:46 am)Grandizer Wrote:

(December 24, 2017 at 11:57 pm)wallym Wrote: First off, I went through the Catholic Marriage prep course as well back in the day, and I can confirm we got the same 'family planning' pitch CL is talking about. There was no 'Sex is for procreation only' angle. They really sold it as a super important/great thing two people in love get to do and should do a lot.
---
On the topic of 'being in the mood', I think you folks are misreading CL's position quite a bit.

Sex in marriage takes commitment because the path of least resistance is a sexless marriage. It's like being healthy. People tend to want to eat healthy. They want to go to the gym. But they often don't, because it's just easier not to.

Marriage sex is very similar. I think the misunderstanding is over the terms 'not horny' and 'not in the mood.' There's the real situations where you just aren't feeling it, and you wouldn't enjoy it if you did have sex. I don't think anyone is advocating that person has to have sex. And in a healthy marriage, the other partner wouldn't pressure them in that scenario. But then there's the much more common 'I'd rather just binge something on Netflix.' type situation. Where 'not being in the mood' is about priorities rather than not wanting to have sex. If I'm reading what CL is writing correctly, I think she's saying she wants to make sure sex doesn't lose it's place of importance in her relationship.

I don't think CL is saying people should be forced to fuck if they're exhausted after a 16 hour shift, and couldn't stay awake. I think she's saying both partners need to be committed to making their physical relationship a priority.

And that's probably the other thing that's being lost on the group. In modern Catholicism, marriage is supposed to be (regardless of what it is in practice, or was taught to be 300 years ago) a team sport in a way that just doesn't appeal/make sense to most people. One person can't be happy if the other is unhappy. It's symbiotic. It's just a different attitude than the 'Take care of yourself first' outlook that we're taught today. The idea of being selfless in a relationship is a big leap of faith. But that's why marriage is supposed to be forever for them. Both people are really committing to something significant, and they're taking a big risk in doing so.

Again, I'm guessing at CL's mindset, but I bet making her husband happy makes her really happy. And I imagine making CL happy makes Mr. CL really happy. To the point that making each other happy is the thing that makes them happiest. That's what the guidelines being presented are meant to funnel people towards.

But that's just Catholicism suggestions and the CL family. We're all free to do whatever we want. I've been married 15 years myself, and I can say that the more sex we are having, the better the relationship is across the board. And it's not just about saying 'I demand to be fucked.' It's about the work being put into the relationship, and making sure not to get lazy or take it for granted.

And that's all I have to say about my tax returns.

I didnt see the caveats you speak of in her post, but if you are accurately representing what she meant to say, then thats fair. Sort of. Id rather have a talk with my partner and see whats on her mind in case of a recurrent feeling of not being in the mood for sex. And then work on it from there. Sex can wait in such case.

It is an accurate representation. And though I'm not able to put things into words as well as wally can, i definitely said, if you're tired, have a headache, upset, etc, those are legitimate reasons to deny your spouse. But if you're simply not feeling it out of laziness, then that's not good enough. Try harder. Make an effort. I've talked to too many women who's husband's rather watch football, play video games, and jerk off to porn than have sex with them, and that sort of sexual neglect is not right and not good for the marriage. If they were catholic, they would be morally obligated to put down the video games and go make love to their wives.