(May 1, 2018 at 7:04 pm)chimp3 Wrote: Some people are worth grieving for.

That's the most beautiful thing I've read in a while about this. My grandmother would have liked that. 

Hugs, *Diedre* I hope you find your way with this soon.

She seems like she was an awesome grandma. I have a shitty grandma honestly. Treated my mum like crap when mum was taking care of her for a while, because her own shitty kids wouldn't do so.

Deidre, treasure the memories and grieve in your own way and time. She sounds like one worth grieving for.

I'm always a little jealous when I hear of people who were really close with a grandparent. I never knew my paternal grandparents well enough to grieve at their passing, my maternal grandfather played favorites (I wasn't among them) and when my maternal grandmother finally kicked it, my only thought was "why did that bitch outlive mom?!?"

(May 1, 2018 at 9:42 pm)The Gentleman Bastard Wrote: Deidre, treasure the memories and grieve in your own way and time. She sounds like one worth grieving for.

I'm always a little jealous when I hear of people who were really close with a grandparent. I never knew my paternal grandparents well enough to grieve at their passing, my maternal grandfather played favorites (I wasn't among them) and when my maternal grandmother finally kicked it, my only thought was "why did that bitch outlive mom?!?"

I'm sorry that you weren't closer, I wonder what goes through some parents/grandparents' heads when they play faves like that. I have a friend whose mother is somewhat like that. Really sad. 

It is helpful just chatting about this with you guys and others, everyone's insights about grieving is all a little different from the next. I appreciate it.

I read your posts today, and appreciate very much, your insights and thoughts. I've decided to go to a grief support group, and talk to others. I'm not into one on one therapists, maybe they work, Idk. But, this sounds like it could be good to be around people who are a little stuck, off and on, and talk about it with them. Everyone has lost a loved one at one point or another, but I need to talk to people who are stuck at this one place with it. I think that part of it is that she did so much for me...and maybe it's even selfish at this point, my grief. I'm grieving not only over missing her as a person, but missing what she did for me? That sounds bad, but maybe this is how I'll get unstuck with it all, if I'm really honest about where the feelings well up at times.

Today, was a good day, it's not something I feel every day. But, when it strikes, it's like a brick on my head.

Thanks for letting me vent about it.

(May 2, 2018 at 5:46 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: I read your posts today, and appreciate very much, your insights and thoughts. I've decided to go to a grief support group, and talk to others. I'm not into one on one therapists, maybe they work, Idk. But, this sounds like it could be good to be around people who are a little stuck, off and on, and talk about it with them. Everyone has lost a loved one at one point or another, but I need to talk to people who are stuck at this one place with it. I think that part of it is that she did so much for me...and maybe it's even selfish at this point, my grief. I'm grieving not only over missing her as a person, but missing what she did for me? That sounds bad, but maybe this is how I'll get unstuck with it all, if I'm really honest about where the feelings well up at times.

Today, was a good day, it's not something I feel every day. But, when it strikes, it's like a brick on my head.

Thanks for letting me vent about it.

 A support group is a fine idea because it's people who feel like you do and they are not payed to preform a function, they give and take as should be. You said that if people didn't love one another then they wouldn't have to grieve and that's true, but is giving up your love for someone who loves you worth it. I do not think so, I lost dad nearly 18 years ago and it still hurts, I lost mom's mom 48 years ago and dad's mom 57 years ago and they all still bring some hurt into my life, but I would never trade the love they had for me and the love I had for them for anything in the world. Just to think of all the loss I would have had if they hadn't loved me and I hadn't loved them, now that would be an unbearable grief. Grief is something all people will live with that love another and that love outweighs the grief every time. Think of your grief as this, the greater your grief for someone the greater your love was for them and the greatness of your relationship is bound up in the love and grief. It will get easier but it will never go away and that's because you loved and were loved, cherish it because in the end it is a reminder of the gift you had when she was alive.

GC

That was really sweet GC.

GC, thank youuuuu!! I’m going to read that every time I get down about this.