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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2621
RE: joke time
May 9, 2018 at 6:15 pm
A bread-maker's bakery burned down.  Poor fella - now his business is toast.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Darinda Offline
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#2622
RE: joke time
May 16, 2018 at 8:38 pm
Quote:At a formal dinner banquet, Eleanor Roosevelt found herself seated next to an oriental ambassador. 
As befits the first lady, she engages him in polite conversation. 
Happy to know that his country is a democracy, she asks him " so when did you last have an election ". 
The ambassador turns red with embarrassment and says " before blakefast ma'am ".

Quote:Two girl friends meet each other on the street.

How is your married life? – one asks.

My husband, for the last couple of weeks, is helping me a lot around the house; 
Watching kids, cooking, doing the shopping, cleaning, doing laundry voluntarily ..

How did you convince him to do that?

I didn't. He read an article in one magazine that if a woman is less tired at the end of the day, then she is much more active in bed

And,did it help him?

I don`t know yet. He falls asleep as soon as he hits bed
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ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
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#2623
RE: joke time
May 16, 2018 at 8:38 pm (This post was last modified: May 16, 2018 at 8:39 pm by ignoramus.)
I saw a homeless person down the road muttering to himself ... I was saying to myself: that poor guys, why is he talking to himself? Is he even aware that he's doing it? Meanwhile a guys close to me saw me talking under my breath and said to himself, Why is that guy talking to himself? Is he even aware that he's doing it? Meanwhile ....
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#2624
RE: joke time
May 21, 2018 at 9:18 am (This post was last modified: May 21, 2018 at 10:03 am by Rhondazvous.)
(February 8, 2018 at 5:55 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(February 8, 2018 at 3:11 pm)Divinity Wrote: Patient goes in for surgery, real nervous.  He says to his surgeon "Doc, I'm really nervous about this.  It's my first surgery."

Doc smiles at the patient, reassuring him.  "Don't worry, it's my first surgery too."

Patient: "Have you performed many surgeries?"

Surgeon: "Oh yes.  Hundreds!"

Patient:  "That's a relief.  I was worried I'd get a novice!"

Surgeon: "I'm no novice.  I'm just not very good."


True story.

The word you don't want to hear when you're on the operating table.


(May 3, 2018 at 6:47 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: 'I before E, Except After C'

Unless, of course, you happen to be an atheist seismologist with a weird, foreign  neighbour called Keith who received eight beige sleighs (with reindeer) in Leicester from feisty scientific caffeinated weightlifters. 

Boru

You need a freight train to carry all the exceptions to the rules in English.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#2625
RE: joke time
May 21, 2018 at 10:32 am
(May 9, 2018 at 6:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A bread-maker's bakery burned down.  Poor fella - now his business is toast.

Boru

A woman watching firemen trying to put out a fire at the bakery sighs and says "There's nothing quite like the smell of fresh baked bread."
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Brian37 Offline
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#2626
RE: joke time
May 21, 2018 at 11:26 am
I want to start a procrastinator's club, I haven't gotten around to it yet.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#2627
RE: joke time
May 22, 2018 at 8:53 am
(May 21, 2018 at 11:26 am)Brian37 Wrote: I want to start a procrastinator's club, I haven't gotten around to it yet.

If you ever do, I'll one day think about the possibility of considering maybe contemplating joining. In fact, first thing tomorrow I'll put it on my list of things to do, give it a rain check if nothing else comes up. Then again, I might not.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Brian37 Offline
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#2628
RE: joke time
May 22, 2018 at 6:56 pm
(May 9, 2018 at 6:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A bread-maker's bakery burned down.  Poor fella - now his business is toast.

Boru

I changed my mind, I want to buy a gun and kill myself.  Big Grin

THAT WAS CORNY AS HELL.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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ignoramus Offline
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#2629
RE: joke time
May 22, 2018 at 7:09 pm (This post was last modified: May 22, 2018 at 7:49 pm by ignoramus.)
where are ya gonna get the dough to buy a gun?





Dodgy
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Fireball Offline
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#2630
RE: joke time
May 22, 2018 at 7:17 pm
He'll knead a good job.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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