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RE: joke time
August 16, 2020 at 6:21 am
Fulfilling the dream of a lifetime, a man gets a seat at the World Cup Final, right at the halfway line. The seat next to him is vacant, so he asks the man across from him if someone will be sitting there.
'No,' says the man.
'That's strange. Who would pay for a seat at the World Cup and not use it?'
'Actually, that seat was for my wife. She passed away after we bought the tickets.'
'Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. But couldn't you have brought someone else, a friend or maybe a relative?'
'Nah. They're all at her funeral.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
August 16, 2020 at 8:47 pm
I tried ordering t-shirts for our local psychics club.
I got the order wrong.
I ordered large and XL but apparently they're all mediums.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
August 16, 2020 at 8:49 pm
^ You should've known that!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
August 16, 2020 at 8:57 pm
trump and co. handling the pandemic.
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RE: joke time
August 17, 2020 at 2:38 pm
(August 16, 2020 at 8:47 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: I tried ordering t-shirts for our local psychics club.
I got the order wrong.
I ordered large and XL but apparently they're all mediums.
My wife told me her mum was a medium.
I said I'd always thought of her as more of a small. (she was about 4 foot six).
True story.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: joke time
August 19, 2020 at 6:19 pm
Me, 'What brings you here today?'
Patient, "My car. But I walked a bit, too."
Me, writing in chart, "Not sexually active."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
August 20, 2020 at 12:04 am
I was just looking through my telescope and found a Galaxy Far Far away!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
August 20, 2020 at 12:21 am
(August 20, 2020 at 12:04 am)ignoramus Wrote: I was just looking through my telescope and found a Galaxy Far Far away!
Far, far gone, is more like it.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
August 21, 2020 at 7:11 pm
Niece, "Auntie Beccs, who's your favourite niece?" I have one niece.
Me, "It would have to be Theresa."
Niece, "But she's not your niece!"
Me, "No, but she's someone's niece."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
![[Image: Image442.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/vTYyHC0t/Image442.jpg)
