Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 7, 2024, 2:39 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
arewethereyet Offline
Don't make me use my mom voice!
*******
Religious Views: Yawn...
Posts: 16324
Threads: 127
Joined: July 10, 2013
Reputation: 65
#11
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 4:43 pm
This is your captain speaking...does anyone know how to land one of these?
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
Find
Reply
brewer Offline Donators
Emotionally exhausted/Morally bankrupt
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 28262
Threads: 522
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation: 90
#12
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 4:45 pm (This post was last modified: February 16, 2021 at 5:21 pm by brewer.)
Our inflight movie today will be The Passion of the Christ.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#13
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 6:07 pm
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 9840
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#14
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 6:45 pm
Plane is shaking violently:

"Attention passengers. If you look out the right side of the aircraft, you will see some parachutes. That is the crew." *Beeeep*
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply
HappySkeptic Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: What god?
Posts: 1653
Threads: 5
Joined: September 26, 2018
Reputation: 12
#15
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 8:00 pm
(February 16, 2021 at 4:45 pm)brewer Wrote: Our inflight movie today will be The Passion of the Christ.

What a terrible movie.  It is like Mel Gibson masturbating to torture.
Find
Reply
Mermaid Offline
Some random chick
***
Religious Views: Godless whore
Posts: 1715
Threads: 9
Joined: September 20, 2015
Reputation: 18
#16
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 8:11 pm
"God is my co-pilot"
If The Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

-Homer Simpson
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#17
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 8:38 pm
(February 16, 2021 at 8:11 pm)Mermaid Wrote: "God is my co-pilot"
I am always amused to see that incredibly arrogant bumper sticker commentary.


A co-pilot is almost always a less experienced pilot there to learn from the guy in the left seat....
Find
Reply
Brian37 Offline
RationalPoet
*****
Religious Views: JGH 1933-2017 RIP MOM
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation: 71
#18
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 16, 2021 at 11:14 pm
(February 16, 2021 at 4:43 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: This is your captain speaking...does anyone know how to land one of these?

Best one yet! Hilarious
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Find
Reply
The Architect Of Fate Offline
Supreme Celestial Being
*****
Religious Views: Non Believer
Posts: 10835
Threads: 29
Joined: December 8, 2019
Reputation: 14
#19
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 12:14 am (This post was last modified: February 17, 2021 at 12:24 am by The Architect Of Fate.)
(February 16, 2021 at 1:52 pm)Brian37 Wrote: On a passenger jet. 

"I'll have another martini"

" I am so depressed, my wife left me."

"I lost my contacts, cant see a thing without them."

"Altimeter? Who needs that?"

" I used to be a stunt pilot, lets try some barrel rolls."

"Why are we landing at LAX? I'm not backed up."

"Damn that was some good acid"

"We'll be landing in North Korea, estimated ETA 16 hours."
"A mountain goat?" 

"We need those wings right?"

"I'm sure that red blinking light is nothing "

"Is that suppose to be on fire?"

"Let's buzz the tower"

'There is something on the wing!"
Some more 

"Ha it's just a thunderstorm"

"I'm pretty sure this is a seaplane "

"The landing gear was there a minute ago"

"Were going to space !!!!!"
"Change was inevitable"


Nemo sicut deus debet esse!

[Image: Canada_Flag.jpg?v=1646203843]



 “No matter what men think, abortion is a fact of life. Women have always had them; they always have and they always will. Are they going to have good ones or bad ones? Will the good ones be reserved for the rich, while the poor women go to quacks?”
–SHIRLEY CHISHOLM

      
Find
Reply
Angrboda Offline
Bringer Of Grief
*****
Religious Views: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.
Posts: 29573
Threads: 116
Joined: February 22, 2011
Reputation: 159
#20
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 1:35 am
"Don't panic, but...."
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Worst things to say as a toast at a wedding. Brian37 4 580 March 8, 2021 at 6:52 pm
Last Post: Angrboda
  Things not to say on a job interview. Brian37 42 2772 March 7, 2021 at 10:29 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Things not to say when being arrested The Valkyrie 44 2514 February 16, 2021 at 9:22 am
Last Post: polymath257
  Valentine's "Things you don't want to see" Brian37 22 1720 February 15, 2021 at 2:26 am
Last Post: Fake Messiah
  Things You'll Never See In Films But Would Like To BrianSoddingBoru4 36 3011 November 25, 2020 at 11:56 am
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Things you can say to a drunk person or a toddler Losty 23 2214 July 2, 2020 at 1:55 pm
Last Post: A. Secular Human
  Things Your Pets Say To You BrianSoddingBoru4 13 2398 July 2, 2020 at 6:10 am
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Things you say to your pets BrokenQuill92 26 2077 July 1, 2020 at 12:06 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  If you want Bden out, Ukraine Brian37 11 2243 December 12, 2019 at 2:36 pm
Last Post: A. Secular Human
  Reincarnate with me if you want to live.... Brian37 0 402 May 2, 2019 at 9:24 am
Last Post: Brian37



Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)