Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:00 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
(June 14, 2021 at 11:42 am)Darinda Wrote: It was my first time visiting Dr. Putz for a colonoscopy.  I went into his office for my first rectal exam.  His new blond nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room.  She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me.  She said that he would be only a few minutes.
 
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.  While waiting, I observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer. 
When Dr. Putz finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. 
This is my first exam.  I know what the K-Y is for.  And, I know what the glove is for.  But can you tell me what the BEER is for?" 
At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.  He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse, "Damn it, Evelyn!!!  I said  ~ A BUTT LIGHT!"

Reminds me of the one where a nurse is prepping a patient for surgery when a blood-curdling scream comes from the room. The surgeon rushes in, assesses the situation and says, ‘Oh my God, nurse - I told to remove his spectacles!’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Someone keeps sending me bunches of celery, and I can't find out who's doing it.




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
A Marine comes into town on leave, only to find that the only hotel in town is booked up.

‘But you’ve GOT to have space somewhere,’ pleads the marine. ‘I’ll take anything, honestly.’

‘Well,’ says the manager, ‘I have one double room with just one occupant, a Navy file, and he might be willing to split the cost.’

‘Brilliant, I’ll take it!,’ says the marine.

‘Ok, but before you do, I should tell you - he snores something fierce. So loudly, in fact, that people in the adjoining rooms have complain.’

‘Not to worry,’ says the marine, I can deal with snoring.’ So he signs the register and goes up to his room.

The next morning, the marine comes downstairs looking perfectly well rested. ‘No problem with the snoring, then?’ asks the manager.

‘Nope, never heard a thing.’

‘How on earth did you manage that?’

‘Perfectly simple. He was already asleep when I got to the room. I kissed him gently on the lips and whispered, “Good night, beautiful.”  He sat up all night watching me.’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
A red boat hit a blue boat at sea.

Both crews were marooned.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
What do you call toast at the zoo?




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor?
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 17, 2021 at 1:38 pm)Brian37 Wrote: If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor?

Dunno. Make one and we'll have a vote.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
"I like my women like how I like Donald Trump," said the Necrophiliac.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Reply
RE: joke time
Me: Go fuck yourself.

Lady in queue: Excuse me, my 10 year old can hear you.

Me: That's who I was talking to.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 18, 2021 at 5:26 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Me: Go fuck yourself.

Lady in queue: Excuse me, my 10 year old can hear you.

Me: That's who I was talking to.

Boru

Wait, you mean you're not supposed to do that?
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18799 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 306 Guest(s)