Someone keeps sending me bunches of celery, and I can't find out who's doing it.
Boru
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Current time: May 16, 2026, 8:52 pm
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joke time
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A Marine comes into town on leave, only to find that the only hotel in town is booked up.
‘But you’ve GOT to have space somewhere,’ pleads the marine. ‘I’ll take anything, honestly.’ ‘Well,’ says the manager, ‘I have one double room with just one occupant, a Navy file, and he might be willing to split the cost.’ ‘Brilliant, I’ll take it!,’ says the marine. ‘Ok, but before you do, I should tell you - he snores something fierce. So loudly, in fact, that people in the adjoining rooms have complain.’ ‘Not to worry,’ says the marine, I can deal with snoring.’ So he signs the register and goes up to his room. The next morning, the marine comes downstairs looking perfectly well rested. ‘No problem with the snoring, then?’ asks the manager. ‘Nope, never heard a thing.’ ‘How on earth did you manage that?’ ‘Perfectly simple. He was already asleep when I got to the room. I kissed him gently on the lips and whispered, “Good night, beautiful.” He sat up all night watching me.’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A red boat hit a blue boat at sea.
Both crews were marooned. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
What do you call toast at the zoo?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor?
(June 17, 2021 at 1:38 pm)Brian37 Wrote: If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor? Dunno. Make one and we'll have a vote. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
"I like my women like how I like Donald Trump," said the Necrophiliac.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Me: Go fuck yourself.
Lady in queue: Excuse me, my 10 year old can hear you. Me: That's who I was talking to. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Today:
10 Year Old: 'Can I go next door and play with Jimmy?' Mum: 'Alright, but bring your phone and text me every 20 minutes so I know you're OK.' When I Was A Kid: 10 Year Old Me: 'I'm going to play at the abandoned quarry with my pals.' Mum: 'Dinner's at 6:00' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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