Fake it. Just act like ya don't care! In fact, most of your Christian friends like mine will act like the event is the most boring and excruciating hour in their life.

(November 25, 2013 at 11:00 pm)Minimalist Wrote:

Quote:I hate bing dishonest at church,

The sad thing is that you will hold it against your parents later. They are not evil. They are merely inept.

You think? I see religious people as victims...

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence."

Napoleon Bonaparte

(November 25, 2013 at 10:42 pm)Captain Colostomy Wrote: Since you still live under the auspices of your parents, best not to rock the boat too much...yet. Hell, look at it this way-you said you're from a long line of catholics. Consider your participation a nod to family tradition. I know that probably doesn't matter to you now, but it may later...if not for religious reasons then for 'family ties' type ones. If nothing else, knowing where you come from gives you solid ground in knowledgeably refuting it's more silly aspects. Life is learning, after all...both the good and bad.

Take a breath...no one can force belief on you.

Looks like Mrs. CC took the wheel on this one
There's far too much sober clarity in it.

(November 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm)Wunsbee Wrote:

(November 25, 2013 at 9:43 pm)Minimalist Wrote: How old are you?

I'm 16

Really? I was confirmed at 12, which I thought was standard. Worst of all, all the preparation for that, plus my first confession and communion was done in school, which didn't seem weird to me at the time but now it's clear to me what it is - indoctrination.

As for your dilemma, the free speaker in me feels you should speak up. However the capitalist in me says to stay quiet. In Irish and Italian customs especially, communion and confirmation are times to get paid. Friends and relatives give you money. Why? I don't know. I just remember being in school and the think all the kids were excited about wasn't the ceremony itself, it was how much money we'd get.

So, if you've got that tradition, I say you may as well get paid for partaking in a meaningless ceremony. If you don't have the tradition however and you feel strongly about not doing it, you have to be true to yourself.

It actually may not be a terrible idea to speak to your parish priest. Seriously. Now, it depends what kind of priest he is (i.e. is he a grumpy old man) but you could go to him and inform him that you're an atheist and that you could go through with the confirmation but that you'd be lying while answering the questions, which of course would defeat the whole point of the ceremony.

As for your parents, if there's someone else in your family who knows you're an atheist or is open minded, you could ask them to support you while talking to your parents. My own view, and it isn't everyone's, is that being a closet atheist ultimately does more harm than good. It forces you to lie to others about who you are and the best way forward is to be open and honest. If your parents know your general feelings about the Church and don't hassle you about it, there's a good chance they'll be understanding and at least willing to listen to your point of view. If they're really strict though, I admit it will be tough. Either way, if you can have someone by your side while you talk to them, it would be helpful.

Tell them you're converting to Islam. They'll be REALLY pissed!
Then tell them you're converting to Hinduism!! They'll be really confused and more pissed!

Then tell them you're no longer religious and you've become an Atheist. They'll simply give up on you.







Whatever you decide to do, I can tell you this for sure: The sooner you get christianity out of your life the better off you will be.
Living a life as a phony, even for a handful of years, is a precious waste of youth. I wish so much I had gotten rid of that vile religion sooner than I did.
The freedom and happiness that replaced groveling, self-doubt and shame makes it worth it.

Plus, do you really want to spend every Sunday in a church for the next 10 years while you wait for the courage to tell them the truth?

I think not.

Lol I said for real because that's how I talk when I'm in disbelief, sorry
Hey can't you attend other worthwhile functions or clubs that 'conflict' with the rigorous church schedule? Just tell them you need to get your college preparatory academic clubs done. Pick something you like! I did school plays, it took lots of my time so I didn't have to go home.

---

If I were you I'd make them feel guilty as hell for that, by telling them you'll go--but them forcing it on you is not going to change your mind, but rather: concrete it.

Tell the truth Wunsbee.
It will set you free (and its easier to remember.)

Shame on people here for encouraging you to lie about your beliefs - your atheist beliefs.
The 5th Commandment says honor your parents.
The 9th Commandment says bearing false witness (lying) is wrong.

Be true to yourself. Go and hug your parents and talk to them in truth and love.

Dont worry about what people might think. Popularity is overrated.

(November 26, 2013 at 3:28 am)Lion IRC Wrote: Tell the truth Wunsbee.
It will set you free (and its easier to remember.)

Shame on people here for encouraging you to lie about your beliefs - your atheist beliefs.
The 5th Commandment says honor your parents.
The 9th Commandment says bearing false witness (lying) is wrong.

Be true to yourself. Go and hug your parents and talk to them in truth and love.

Dont worry about what people might think. Popularity is overrated.

Conning from someone who has never done this before. Trust me lyin if you had any idea what this can do you some families you would not suggest that. There are some people that will throw there kids out on the street for that, and by the sound of wunsbee's parent they would make life very difficult.

(November 26, 2013 at 3:28 am)Lion IRC Wrote: Tell the truth Wunsbee.
It will set you free (and its easier to remember.)

Shame on people here for encouraging you to lie about your beliefs - your atheist beliefs.
The 5th Commandment says honor your parents.
The 9th Commandment says bearing false witness (lying) is wrong.

Be true to yourself. Go and hug your parents and talk to them in truth and love.

Dont worry about what people might think. Popularity is overrated.

Obviously telling the truth would be better. But he's 16 and his parents sound like ignorant bigoted bastards to me. They could throw him out! Its got nothing to do with popularity dumbass. I guess you've never been in this position have you