(November 8, 2014 at 1:40 am)SteelCurtain Wrote:

(November 8, 2014 at 1:29 am)whateverist Wrote: Interesting that the dedication to being open and honest can coexist with intimacy issues, isn't it. I suspect that will resolve itself for you, given how you are with people.

Part of that whole brute force thing. I really have to make a conscious effort to force myself not to be a closed book. Always boggled my mind, how I can be so extroverted and enjoy being the center of attention, but have this innate desire to be private and have a lot of alone time. Sort of a Jekyll and Hyde thing. I do hope I can overcome it, but I've been this way as long as I can remember and it doesn't seem to be getting better, even with therapy. But Jaysus having a woman in my life that knows me and gets me and has the patience of Job helps a lot.

l've always been shy and introverted but, like you, effort and establishment of habits has had its effects. At some point I had the epiphany that the real purpose of a relationship wasn't just to know another human being but to be known as well. That makes me want to be disclosive. I still value -no, require- a certain amount of solitude and the garden and walks with the dog gives me that. Fortunately my wife also gets totally immersed in her work and even goes off on business trips often enough. I think it's been good for us both. But we always spend time together every day, if only to play some cards over a meal.

Playing cards with the wifey is one of the more widely under-appreciated joys of marriage...lol.

(even if you can't help but crush her at absolutely everything. Victory is life! )

And death to the infidel! I think we get out a little aggression that way. She won't play rummy with me any more but most often still plays Up And Down the River, a two-persion variant of Schmere and Giant Two.

I was shown a game that makes use of the poker ranking of hands which is pretty fun. We play it a lot. Basically you deal five up cards each which are aligned, one against the other, in the center of the table. Each of these will become a five card poker hand. Then you take turns drawing a card off the rest of the deck and placing it face up on one of your cards. You have to complete one level at a time and once placed, you can't move a card. So you can't play a third card to one of your hands until they all have two cards. The last row of cards is played face down so only you know what you have in the end. Then you just go down the line turning up the last card and seeing who wins each set of hands. The loser collapses theirs and then you count the total wins. We play to 10 with sudden death if we tie at 10 which happens often enough.

(November 8, 2014 at 2:36 am)rexbeccarox Wrote: Most of my degrees are performance-related. I spent most of my life performing more than actually living real life. But what's the difference, really?

I'm thinking it was a rhetorical question, but what's the difference? With me, the guy onstage is a different guy, almost -- like the microphone gives me permission to be entertaining, whereas offstage, I'm a quiet, boring guy who doesn't like attention.

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(November 8, 2014 at 3:35 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I was exactly the opposite when I was performing. I had audiences who wanted to hear songs they already new by heart. Easy peasy.

Boru

Oh, they didn't want to hear the songs, which is why you know me from being some asshole online, rather than the guy on the radio.

(November 8, 2014 at 8:19 am)whateverist Wrote: l've always been shy and introverted but, like you, effort and establishment of habits has had its effects. At some point I had the epiphany that the real purpose of a relationship wasn't just to know another human being but to be known as well. That makes me want to be disclosive. I still value -no, require- a certain amount of solitude and the garden and walks with the dog gives me that. Fortunately my wife also gets totally immersed in her work and even goes off on business trips often enough. I think it's been good for us both. But we always spend time together every day, if only to play some cards over a meal.

So you're also "passing for human" like the Tony Hill character in Val McDermits novels uses to say.

I can relate. I also have my issues opening up to the real world.

(November 8, 2014 at 4:28 am)Exian Wrote: As for me, I started playing drums at 8, which I find is as foundational as piano. I moved on to guitar when I was 14, picked up piano at 20, and two years ago started toying around with the banjo (a lot of fingerstyle guitar techniques translated so easily, maybe I shouldn't count that? Lol)

Guitar is my most accomplished instrument. I started out with Metal, moved on to Chicago blues and delta blues (the latter being my favorite style, Mississpi John Hurt anybody?), and about 5 years ago, I started studying classical and flamenco intensely, more so flamenco. From a lot of players I talk to my age, this seems to be a pretty common path.

And man, I'd really love to get a chance to play a cello, erhu, and a koto. About two years ago, I went up to the local Highland games to see my buddy compete, and they had a harp workshop, so I was pretty lucky to get a chance to learn my way around one of those with some guidance.

I started off on guitar, at 13. Took up bass, keyboards, and drums along the way, good enough to gig on the first two, good enough to do my demos on keys, love beating the shit out of 'em. I took two semesters of classical guitar in college, and took private lessons from the late jazz guitarist Raj Rathor.

When I went to Spain in the Air Force, I took note of flamenco and started bringing that into my guitar playing, and also went back to the music I had heard living in Iran as a child, and that has all leaked into my playing style.

I've written a couple of hundred songs in all styles.

I spent years beating my head against the wall in clubs in SoCal gigging rock and blues on guitar and bass, but now I jam on my porch with the birds; I sold my electric rig (five guitars, four amps) to come back home. I'm thinking about getting back into gigging, as I get more comfortable in the local scene.

That must be very satisfying to be able to make music like that. I only know music from the outside but that is still a pretty satisfying relationship.

(November 7, 2014 at 2:31 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote: AA as a double major: Liberal Arts, and Fire Science.

(November 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm)whateverist Wrote: That must be very satisfying to be able to make music like that. I only know music from the outside but that is still a pretty satisfying relationship.

From the chapter in my book where I discuss learning to play:

Quote:I don’t think I’m unique amongst musicians when I say that my instrument is also my therapist, my friend, my lover, my shelter; and my compositions are my release, my headlines, my semaphores to a world that is now online. The notes which pour out of my speakers like hundred-watt syrup -- the chords which shimmer over my twelve-string acoustic -- the melodies which dance and groan and sparkle and scream from this odd animal made of wire and wood and bone and sinew and soul -- these sounds are a language, the language of my heart, as much as English is the language of my thoughts.

(November 8, 2014 at 3:50 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote:

(November 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm)whateverist Wrote: That must be very satisfying to be able to make music like that. I only know music from the outside but that is still a pretty satisfying relationship.

From the chapter in my book where I discuss learning to play:

Quote:I don’t think I’m unique amongst musicians when I say that my instrument is also my therapist, my friend, my lover, my shelter; and my compositions are my release, my headlines, my semaphores to a world that is now online. The notes which pour out of my speakers like hundred-watt syrup -- the chords which shimmer over my twelve-string acoustic -- the melodies which dance and groan and sparkle and scream from this odd animal made of wire and wood and bone and sinew and soul -- these sounds are a language, the language of my heart, as much as English is the language of my thoughts.

Didn't know you had a book out. Oh - and what's the name of your book? Are you a recording musician or more into performance. I tend only to consume canned music. (I know, probably missing out on a lot.)