Wasn’t sure where to put my “story” since it’s not an introduction. Warning: this is somewhat of a long read, but if you can get through it all, then I thank you for it. I am hurting and I am angry and here is the reason why:

Below is an excerpt from a post on Facebook that I wrote this past Sunday. The short background is this:
I have two children ages 19 and 12. I also have two step-sons ages 13 and 10. My 19 year old has Down syndrome and Asperger’s. She was abruptly taken from me on January 13, 2014 by the father of my other daughter during a guardianship hearing. He has no familiar ties with my oldest. No blood ties, no adoption and no association through marriage from being a step parent. As time goes on I’m sure I’ll tell more, but for now, this is the best I can do without causing myself to cry more than I already have.
Again, it was written this past Sunday...

This is not a post that I had ever thought I would be writing. It is not one that I should have to write, but here it is, nonetheless. I dread the thought of March 15th for this day is now six months since I was last allowed to see my daughter, Jordan. That was the last day I was able to talk to my child. To tell her that I love her and to tell her that I would always love her. In that moment, I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting here, six months later, grieving over the fact that while she lives just three blocks away, she is intentionally and maliciously being kept from me.

These words hurt.

Is it worse than death? Unless you've been where I am now, you'll know that's difficult to answer with a simple yes or no. I still grieve. I still have a loss. My child is not here to hear me say "I love you" to. She is not here to hug. To hold her hand. To see her smile. So in that regard, it's the same. And while she is still very much alive, I am suffering a loss that is indescribable. There is no "closure". Only grief. As each day goes by, my hope diminishes. I no longer have faith in a court system that is supposed to protect families from this sort of injustice. There is no more believing that any judge in this land will do the right thing. There is only loss. There is no place I can visit to put flowers on or a toy or letter on. There is no place that I can go to "visit" my child because that place simply doesn't exist for me.

I don't look forward to today. But I'm going to do what I've done every day for the last six months. I'm going to put on a brave face, smile and give no indication to those who see me that there is a deep, dark hurt that wells in my heart. I will keep going on until I am completely broken. I miss my daughter. The daughter that I am not allowed to call or visit. The daughter that I am no longer allowed to see in school or be involved in her care in any way at all. It disgusts me that my own mother and sister have staunchly supported the person who has routinely emotionally and verbally abused me. He continues to do so, flexing his manipulative muscle by lying to the court and making up unprovable stories. Sadly, because his legal fees are being paid by my sister, I am on the losing end of this battle. I am heartbroken over the fact that my own family happily sees me suffer while they continue to pretend that life is great and that my daughter deserves to be kept from me. I believe there is a special kind of hell for them all. In the end they will get what they deserve for allowing the abuse and parental alienation to continue.

I love my daughter. No one will ever take that away from me. That is something that they cannot control. They cannot have that very part of me. It is mine. The love that I have for my daughter since the day she was born is mine and mine alone. Those who continue to wrong me only do so because they know that my love for my child is the ONE and ONLY thing they cannot stop. It drives them crazy to know that even after all they have done to try and destroy me financially, physically and mentally, I still carry this love just as strong as the day I brought Jordan into this world.
Regardless, it still hurts. It is a sharp, searing and knife-twisting pain that does not go away. It is there when I sleep and when I wake. It is there every second of every hour of every day. The not knowing if I will ever see her again still pains me every single day. And although you might see me or talk to me on the phone and I seem fine, I seem happy, please know that not a day goes by that my daughter is not occupying my mind. She is in my dreams. She is my reason for continuing to go on every day. There is no need to ask me how I am. Those who truly know me already know.
I am far from perfect. I've made my mistakes and there are things I regret doing. But I never deserved this. I never deserved having my child ripped from my arms. No, not this. There was absolutely no compelling reason for this to happen. And if I am feeling this way about the loss of my child, I can only imagine how she is feeling over the loss of her mother. Does she cry for me? Does she think about me? Does she know I'm still alive? Or are the abusers doing every bit of brainwashing they can to get her to forget all about me? This is a huge fear for me. I fear this every single day.
Parental Alienation IS child abuse. It is real and it is the stuff my nightmares are made of.

If you got this far, thank you from my entire soul for reading this.

I really have nothing but... I'm just so sorry. My heart broke reading that. I can't imagine what you are going through.

There is nothing I can say except that I am so sorry this has happened to you

Thank you. And this is just with my oldest. I've been in and out of court too many times to count over the last ten years for my youngest daughter. My ex is a horrid excuse for a human being. As of this afternoon, I still had not heard anything from the Supreme court regarding my appeal request. Meanwhile, each day that passes is yet another day of Parental Alienation. I am so sick of this.

I just... I don't know what to say. I can only imagine how I would feel if my ex got between me and my son and prevented me from being involved as his father.

He's done a lot of shit he should be in jail for.

I have very few words like everyone else here.

If you'll pardon the language reading through this pisses me off no end.

Big hugs to you and I'm sorry for what you're going through.

I am sorry you are having to go through this, Judi Lynn. I can't even imagine the type of pain.

I am sure that it's just because you have withheld information for personal reasons (smartly, I might add), but the skeptic in me has alarm bells ringing everywhere. It seems odd to me that a court would allow a mother and daughter to be separated and guardianship given to a non blood relative. There need to be some really serious problems in order for that to happen. I really struggled ethically as to whether I would even post this, because of the extremely vulnerable nature of your OP.

I don't want this to seem like me calling you out, Judi Lynn. As an often overly empathetic person, I feel strongly for you. I just felt I needed to say this.

(March 19, 2015 at 9:48 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: I am sorry you are having to go through this, Judi Lynn. I can't even imagine the type of pain.

I am sure that it's just because you have withheld information for personal reasons (smartly, I might add), but the skeptic in me has alarm bells ringing everywhere. It seems odd to me that a court would allow a mother and daughter to be separated and guardianship given to a non blood relative. There need to be some really serious problems in order for that to happen. I really struggled ethically as to whether I would even post this, because of the extremely vulnerable nature of your OP.

I don't want this to seem like me calling you out, Judi Lynn. As an often overly empathetic person, I feel strongly for you. I just felt I needed to say this.

SC, thank you for your honesty. Trust me, it makes me madder than hell to know this has been done. Here's the thing - I am dealing with a psychopathic narcissist. If anyone knows anything about the nature of how these individuals work, they will agree with me that there is a LOT of manipulation and mind fuckery involved. Couple that with the problem that the courts in PA are the 5th most corrupt in the United States and you see why there's a problem. Link
Throw in the fact that for 9 of those 10 years, I have had no attorney. I have been pro se in every custody hearing. I have only had an attorney for the guardianship hearing and he wasn't a good one, clearly. The judge who heard the case was new to the Orphan's court division. He had been a judge presiding over criminal cases for most of his career and was only seated in the Orphan's court because Judge Blackwell retired in Dec 2013. Our case would have been heard in front of her in Dec but we asked for a postponement due to the fact that my attorney came on late in the case and was trying to get additional information.

Add to this the fact that because this "new" judge wasn't familiar with the rules surrounding how a guardianship hearing works, my ex's attorneys were able to manipulate the hearing so that it was conducted in a fashion similar to a custody hearing. This should never have happened. My attorney is in his 80's, hard of hearing and doesn't ask the questions he should have.

An appeal to the Superior court was filed in Feb, the following month. The Superior court dropped the ball because they did not give me a timely appeal hearing. I will be contesting this should the Supreme court decide to honor my petition for review and grant me a hearing. If not, it's back to the lower court I go to try and get my ex's guardianship revoked.

My family is also a huge factor in this. Because they continued to support my abusive ex, I stopped speaking to them five years ago. Since then, they have happily funded his legal smear campaign against me, paying off custody evaluators and attorneys alike. This is truly a mess. They, along with my ex have blatantly lied on the witness stand in family court. They have paid off witnesses to lie as well. And because perjury isn't enforced in family law court in this wonderful state of Pennsylvania, they get away with it.

There is so much more to this and I appreciate the questioning that has come from my story. I realize that no one is interested in reading a novel about this, but I have ten years worth of dealing with lies, deceit, bullshit, mind fuckery, backstabbing, violations of my 4th, 9th and 14th amendment rights, that I could literally write a book. My file on the custody case involving my youngest is over five inches thick. I have never had Children and Youth Services involved in my life. I am not a drug addict. I don't drink. I don't have a criminal record. My kids are well mannered, polite, behave and don't get in any trouble. They have been raised with a loving hand and disciplined fairly. I don't put my kids through anything that is abusive. I have given the courts ZERO reasons why I should not have my girls with me.

So, what would compel a judge to take a child away from her mother and hand her over to a non-biological person you ask? Lies by him insisting that he has always been there for her - which I proved to be false in court. Lies by my family and lots of money and a court system that is corrupt and one that does not follow what is in the best interests of the child. I stood no chance. 18 years of love, devotion and dedication to my daughter meant nothing. It is something that I shake my head at every day. But I keep moving forward because my daughter needs me.

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It happens and I am not the only mother out there who has been wronged by the justice system in this way. Sadly, my kind of situation is not unique. I belong to groups on Facebook where there are dozens of parents, both moms and dads alike who have been accused of horrific things, none of which have been proven, but because money makes the judges decisions, those of us who don't have much to work with are already on the losing end.

I am currently trying to figure out a way to get my 10 year long battle into some sort of condensed version to take to the media. It's a huge headache and dealing with depression and PTSD doesn't help matters any. But I plug on anyway, working hard to make a difference so that I can get my kids safely away from that man and home where they belong.

Wow, awful situation. Few questions:
What was the reason for taking your daughter away from you?
Why are you not allowed any contact any more?
Why is your family so staunchly against you and supporting your ex?
If I read your op right, you have three other children, why are you allowed to look after them but not your oldest daughter?