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Current time: December 14, 2024, 5:16 pm

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Online dating truthers
#1
Online dating truthers
What would an honest, no bs, transparent, realistic, no surprises, no stretching the truth, online dating profile look like? Here's mine. Not that I'm trying to date. It's for kicks.
I'm still waiting on a particular hottie from Cali. Er. Florida.

My name is Mama.
I'm 31. I think.
I have wrinkles happening on my forehead. My brows don't have shape. I have a car accident two inch scar on my right leg. I have a few white stretch marks on my hips. There's dirty dishes in the kitchen, and I don't plan on washing them tonight. I can't decide if I want to be feminine or a dude. I probably will never finish deciding.

I snore when the stout is 13% abv or above. I can't decide if I'm confident or insecure. I suck at math. I have a tooth that thinks it deserves its own row. If I looked the way I brain, I'd be an exotic hottie with sass. If you walk by, I'll probably look at your butt. I won't look at your boobs, though. Don't worry. But if you're a dude, I'll probably look at your crotch.

I hang out with intelligent people, partly because I find them sexy, and partly to see if I can fake my way through life seeming slightly smarter than I really am. I don't think it works. If you believe in gods, I'm instantly not attracted to you. I spend a lot of time in a forum.

I'm a Mexican shawty. I can't see even with my glasses on. I'm football ignorant one hundred percent. Whilst I love cats, I prefer how dogs shag each other. They had a good idea. I'll love you if you feed me tacos. I sleep with one sock on. I don't watch Game of Thrones. I voted Bernie in the primaries. I have flat feet and if I walk barefoot I can make slapping sounds on the floor if I want.
Big Grin

Anyone else wanna truther?
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#2
RE: Online dating truthers
You had me at Tacos! what time do I pick you up?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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#3
RE: Online dating truthers
Hi, I'm EP.

I am perfectly capable of being... perfect. Instead, I choose to be the opposite. Nice to meet you, er, where are you going...?
Reply
#4
RE: Online dating truthers
Cavernous unshaved pighole

call me . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#5
RE: Online dating truthers
I'm gay, I'm versatile, I want sex.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#6
RE: Online dating truthers
I'm Losty,

Umm...go ahead and say whatever thing you need to say to make you feel better about the sex starting so soon. If any of it ever becomes true you'll likely never hear from me again anyways. Also, yes I have kids no you can't meet them.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Reply
#7
RE: Online dating truthers
(July 31, 2016 at 1:17 am)Losty Wrote: I'm Losty,

Umm...go ahead and say whatever thing you need to say to make you feel better about the sex starting so soon. If any of it ever becomes true you'll likely never hear from me again anyways. Also, yes I have kids no you can't meet them.
ROFLOL
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#8
RE: Online dating truthers
(July 31, 2016 at 1:19 am)Mamacita Wrote:
(July 31, 2016 at 1:17 am)Losty Wrote: I'm Losty,

Umm...go ahead and say whatever thing you need to say to make you feel better about the sex starting so soon. If any of it ever becomes true you'll likely never hear from me again anyways. Also, yes I have kids no you can't meet them.
ROFLOL

Not sure if mine would have been better placed in the can I just say and I'm just being honest thread lol
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
Reply
#9
RE: Online dating truthers
Hi, I'm the bestest turtle. I haz mayo. Want some?
Reply
#10
RE: Online dating truthers
Hi,

I like cats and you should totally vote Trump.

That is all.
Reply



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