What would an honest, no bs, transparent, realistic, no surprises, no stretching the truth, online dating profile look like? Here's mine. Not that I'm trying to date. It's for kicks.
I'm still waiting on a particular hottie from Cali. Er. Florida.
My name is Mama.
I'm 31. I think.
I have wrinkles happening on my forehead. My brows don't have shape. I have a car accident two inch scar on my right leg. I have a few white stretch marks on my hips. There's dirty dishes in the kitchen, and I don't plan on washing them tonight. I can't decide if I want to be feminine or a dude. I probably will never finish deciding.
I snore when the stout is 13% abv or above. I can't decide if I'm confident or insecure. I suck at math. I have a tooth that thinks it deserves its own row. If I looked the way I brain, I'd be an exotic hottie with sass. If you walk by, I'll probably look at your butt. I won't look at your boobs, though. Don't worry. But if you're a dude, I'll probably look at your crotch.
I hang out with intelligent people, partly because I find them sexy, and partly to see if I can fake my way through life seeming slightly smarter than I really am. I don't think it works. If you believe in gods, I'm instantly not attracted to you. I spend a lot of time in a forum.
I'm a Mexican shawty. I can't see even with my glasses on. I'm football ignorant one hundred percent. Whilst I love cats, I prefer how dogs shag each other. They had a good idea. I'll love you if you feed me tacos. I sleep with one sock on. I don't watch Game of Thrones. I voted Bernie in the primaries. I have flat feet and if I walk barefoot I can make slapping sounds on the floor if I want.
Anyone else wanna truther?
I'm still waiting on a particular hottie from Cali. Er. Florida.
My name is Mama.
I'm 31. I think.
I have wrinkles happening on my forehead. My brows don't have shape. I have a car accident two inch scar on my right leg. I have a few white stretch marks on my hips. There's dirty dishes in the kitchen, and I don't plan on washing them tonight. I can't decide if I want to be feminine or a dude. I probably will never finish deciding.
I snore when the stout is 13% abv or above. I can't decide if I'm confident or insecure. I suck at math. I have a tooth that thinks it deserves its own row. If I looked the way I brain, I'd be an exotic hottie with sass. If you walk by, I'll probably look at your butt. I won't look at your boobs, though. Don't worry. But if you're a dude, I'll probably look at your crotch.
I hang out with intelligent people, partly because I find them sexy, and partly to see if I can fake my way through life seeming slightly smarter than I really am. I don't think it works. If you believe in gods, I'm instantly not attracted to you. I spend a lot of time in a forum.
I'm a Mexican shawty. I can't see even with my glasses on. I'm football ignorant one hundred percent. Whilst I love cats, I prefer how dogs shag each other. They had a good idea. I'll love you if you feed me tacos. I sleep with one sock on. I don't watch Game of Thrones. I voted Bernie in the primaries. I have flat feet and if I walk barefoot I can make slapping sounds on the floor if I want.
Anyone else wanna truther?
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
