Ok, so I am a dumbass once again.

[Brian37]

Nice try, but I have fucked up my mower sober.

I was stone cold sober in the 90s when I almost burned down an Arby's trying to change the oil as a fry cook.

You forgot to turn it off?
I've had people empty a fryer and not bother to refill it or clean it and then I've turned it on the next day without looking.
I like to think of it as a smoke alarm test. :-)

No I didn't forget to turn it off. My riding mower automatically shuts off if you lift weight of the chair. I simply tried to skirt the cover and got too close.

And as far  as deep fryers, I think they are fucking evil. Yes they produce great food for everyone who knows how to use them. But to me, they are a fucking volcano daring you to piss off Vesuvius. I love fried foods, just not operating deep fryers.

[Ranjr]

I'm reading your words and can make sense of them individually, but all together, in that order, they make no sense.  Why have a mower?

Because I have neighbors who bought into trimmed lawns. Personally I like "Adam Ruins Everything" in regards to lawn upkeep.  But the truth is in the real world, neighbors don't like inconsistency.

I don't get city people and their lawns.  When I see a man give money to a gym and a lawn service, my eye twitches and I miss my grandparents.

---

Maybe you need to be drunk and own a lawn mower. Give it a try and see.

I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.

[Brian37]

Because I have neighbors who bought into trimmed lawns. Personally I like "Adam Ruins Everything" in regards to lawn upkeep.  But the truth is in the real world, neighbors don't like inconsistency.

I don't get city people and their lawns.  When I see a man give money to a gym and a lawn service, my eye twitches and I miss my grandparents.

---

Maybe you need to be drunk and own a lawn mower. Give it a try and see.

I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.

In all honesty, I have fucked up my mower completely sober and on a couple of beers.

I have never been able to compete in football or basketball or baseball or soccer and no amount of sobriety or drunk state would ever get me to compete.

---

Brian - if you are operating dangerous equipment you need to focus.  Your excuse is a valid one but there are still times when you need to make yourself focus for safety reasons.

FFS...you are an accident waiting to happen and you don't seem to care.

You got me, I need live my life in bubble wrap. That is why I focus on poetry and ABBA. It might be annoying as hell, but do you really want me cooking for you instead? I could mow your lawn for free if you want. 

FYI I do care, that is why I don't cook at food joints anymore. But unless you want to mow my lawn for me, I have to take that risk.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I don't get city people and their lawns.  When I see a man give money to a gym and a lawn service, my eye twitches and I miss my grandparents.

---

I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.

In all honesty, I have fucked up my mower completely sober and on a couple of beers.

I have never been able to compete in football or basketball or baseball or soccer and no amount of sobriety or drunk state would ever get me to compete.

---

Brian - if you are operating dangerous equipment you need to focus.  Your excuse is a valid one but there are still times when you need to make yourself focus for safety reasons.

FFS...you are an accident waiting to happen and you don't seem to care.

You got me, I need live my life in bubble wrap. That is why I focus on poetry and ABBA. It might be annoying as hell, but do you really want me cooking for you instead? I could mow your lawn for free if you want. 

FYI I do care, that is why I don't cook at food joints anymore. But unless you want to mow my lawn for me, I have to take that risk.

The point is that there shouldn’t BE a risk. Operating a riding lawn mower is a relatively simple procedure, one that is easily mastered by 10 year olds. 

Checking your lawn for obstacles before you mow is a no-brainer.

Boru

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Moral: Don't mow drunk.

I'm reading your words and can make sense of them individually, but all together, in that order, they make no sense.  Why have a mower?

Manscaping.

[Brian37]

I'm reading your words and can make sense of them individually, but all together, in that order, they make no sense.  Why have a mower?

Manscaping.

I am cutting off your subscription to "Hurricane Hero Quarterly".

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Manscaping.

I am cutting off your subscription to "Hurricane Hero Quarterly".

Fuck you, I'm on the cover this issue.

[brewer]

Maybe you need to be drunk and own a lawn mower. Give it a try and see.

I have a mower.  I doubt I could start it without a cold beer.

I don't consider "a beer" drunk.

[Brian37]

No matter what state anyone wants to accuse me of, in this thread, NOBODY would want to be accused of this.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/king-tuts..._n_6520910

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

No matter what state anyone wants to accuse me of, in this thread, NOBODY would want to be accused of this.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/king-tuts..._n_6520910

Can you account for your whereabouts at the time of the incident?

Boru