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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 6:33 am
(July 8, 2021 at 6:24 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A farmer buys a new rooster. As soon as he turns it out in the chicken run, the rooster immediately mates with all of the farmer's 150 hens. In the afternoon, it mates with all 150 hens again. The next morning, the rooster screws all of the farmer's ducks, then all the geese, then all the turkeys.
Later that day, the farmer finds the rooster lying on the ground half dead, with vultures circling overhead. 'You brought this on yourself, you horny bastard!', says the farmer.
The rooster opens one eye, points up and says, 'Shh...they're about to land.'
Boru
Reminds me of the true story of the guinea pig that escaped his cage, mated with a lot of females, and then slept for a few days to recover.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 7:21 am
If short people smoke dope, do they get high, or do they get medium?
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 7:23 am
"I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present!"
"But you are the lawyer."
"Then where's my present?"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 7:54 am
"Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?” A voice on the other end answer: “No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
After a brief pause daddy says “but honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”
Brief pause “Oh okay then, this is what I want you to do: “Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”
"Ok daddy just a minute.”
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.” "What happened honey?”
“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase, now she is not moving at all.”
“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad.
”He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he is dead.”
Really long pause this time…
Daddy says, “Swimming pool, holy shit, but we don’t have a swimming pool?
Is this 486-5731?”
“No, this is 486-5713.”
"Sorry, wrong number!”
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 7:55 am
I've recently started saying "mucho" to my latino friends.
It means a lot to them.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 9:00 am
When I was in Europe I went to a XXX show in Rome.
It was just 30 people sitting on stage.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 10:29 am
(July 8, 2021 at 8:04 am)Brian37 Wrote: (July 8, 2021 at 7:55 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I've recently started saying "mucho" to my latino friends.
It means a lot to them.
Mi Madre va a comer mi gato.
No mi gusto frijoles en mi Zapatos.
You don't like beans in your shoes?
Good to know.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 5:31 pm
(July 8, 2021 at 10:29 am)arewethereyet Wrote: (July 8, 2021 at 8:04 am)Brian37 Wrote: Mi Madre va a comer mi gato.
No mi gusto frijoles en mi Zapatos.
You don't like beans in your shoes?
Good to know.
...and something about Mom eating the cat?
Perhaps she could eat the beans instead. Solve both "problemos".
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
July 8, 2021 at 6:48 pm
(July 8, 2021 at 5:31 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (July 8, 2021 at 10:29 am)arewethereyet Wrote: You don't like beans in your shoes?
Good to know.
...and something about Mom eating the cat?
Perhaps she could eat the beans instead. Solve both "problemos".
It's amazing to be unable to speak in more than one language.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
