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joke time
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Barbie didn't give me body issues.
Barbie taught me that you can't reattach a head once it's removed. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
Pat Mustard
Previous username: GUBU God! Theresa, I forgot me fecking trousers!  Religious Views: the Disc's first ligthning proof atheist (January 9, 2024 at 11:13 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A Texan on holiday in Ireland is in the local bragging about the size of his home state. He says to the barman, ‘My friend, do you realize that I can board a train in the morning, ride it all day and all night, and at daybreak I’d STILL be deep in the heart of Texas!’ Are you right there Michael, are you right?
Urbs Antiqua Fuit Studiisque Asperrima Belli
Home 
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one.” 
1st daughter: ‘Dad, I’m a lesbian.’
Dad: ‘Oh, ok. I appreciate you telling me.’ 2nd daughter: ‘Dad, I’m a lesbian, too.’ Dad: ‘Jesus Christ - doesn’t anyone in this family like cock?’ Son: *raises hand* Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I can only sleep on a pile of old magazines - I have a lot of back issues.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
To the guy at the pub who told me to leave my car at the pub and take the bus instead.
Turns out, you're an idiot. I was too drunk to drive the bus, too! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Right now I'm on a very strict beer diet.
So far I've managed to lose 4 whole days. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" RE: joke time
January 31, 2024 at 4:58 am
(This post was last modified: January 31, 2024 at 6:53 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
(Update for the irresistible force/immovable object conundrum)
What happens when an Imperial Stormtrooper tries to shoot a Starfleet redshirt? Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (January 31, 2024 at 4:58 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (Update for the irresistible force/immovable object conundrum) On a neutral planet, an Imperial Stormtrooper and a Starfleet redshirt met. The stormtrooper raised his blaster, fired, and missed. The redshirt died anyway. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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