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Current time: May 7, 2024, 5:49 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
The Valkyrie Offline
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#6751
RE: joke time
January 12, 2024 at 2:43 am
Barbie didn't give me body issues.

Barbie taught me that you can't reattach a head once it's removed.
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GUBU Offline
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#6752
RE: joke time
January 12, 2024 at 7:56 pm
(January 9, 2024 at 11:13 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A Texan on holiday in Ireland is in the local bragging about the size of his home state. He says to the barman, ‘My friend, do you realize that I can board a train in the morning, ride it all day and all night, and at daybreak I’d STILL be deep in the heart of Texas!’

‘Aye,’ says the barman. ‘The trains in Ireland are turrible slow as well.’

Boru

Are you right there Michael, are you right?
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Darinda Offline
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#6753
RE: joke time
January 13, 2024 at 2:13 pm
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one.”
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6754
RE: joke time
January 16, 2024 at 5:40 pm
1st daughter: ‘Dad, I’m a lesbian.’

Dad: ‘Oh, ok. I appreciate you telling me.’

2nd daughter: ‘Dad, I’m a lesbian, too.’

Dad: ‘Jesus Christ - doesn’t anyone in this family like cock?’

Son: *raises hand*

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6755
RE: joke time
January 18, 2024 at 5:35 am
I can only sleep on a pile of old magazines - I have a lot of back issues.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6756
RE: joke time
January 27, 2024 at 2:40 pm
To the guy at the pub who told me to leave my car at the pub and take the bus instead.

Turns out, you're an idiot.

I was too drunk to drive the bus, too!
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6757
RE: joke time
January 31, 2024 at 3:37 am
Right now I'm on a very strict beer diet.

So far I've managed to lose 4 whole days.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#6758
RE: joke time
January 31, 2024 at 4:58 am (This post was last modified: January 31, 2024 at 6:53 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
(Update for the irresistible force/immovable object conundrum)

What happens when an Imperial Stormtrooper tries to shoot a Starfleet redshirt?

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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pocaracas Offline
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#6759
RE: joke time
January 31, 2024 at 6:09 pm
(January 31, 2024 at 4:58 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (Update for the irresistible force/immovable object conundrum)

What happens when an Imperial Stormtrooper tried to shoot a Starfleet redshirt?

Boru

This red shirt?

[Image: 14466606-7113117-image-a-33_1559848741155.jpg]
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#6760
RE: joke time
January 31, 2024 at 7:19 pm
(January 31, 2024 at 4:58 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (Update for the irresistible force/immovable object conundrum)

What happens when an Imperial Stormtrooper tries to shoot a Starfleet redshirt?

Boru

On a neutral planet, an Imperial Stormtrooper and a Starfleet redshirt met.

The stormtrooper raised his blaster, fired, and missed.

The redshirt died anyway.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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