What is a magicians favourite dog?
A labracadabrador.
A labracadabrador.
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon
Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: October 25, 2024, 6:27 pm
Thread Rating:
|
joke time
|
 RE: joke time
October 19, 2024 at 4:54 pm
(This post was last modified: October 19, 2024 at 4:55 pm by Silver.)
*reenactment of civil war*
Asking Southern cosplayer: "Did you win this time?"
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter 
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know why it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNT OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact they have been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Vegan goes for five days without mentioning it, shattering previous record.
News at 10! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
^ It's like the oldie, "How do you know if there's a fighter pilot in the room? He'll tell you!"
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
(October 23, 2024 at 10:12 pm)Fireball Wrote: ^ It's like the oldie, "How do you know if there's a fighter pilot in the room? He'll tell you!" You learn very quickly, in certain professions, not to mention it at parties. "Oh, you're a cardiologist? I've been getting..." *write something on paper and hand it to them* "What's this?" "My office hours." Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
What’s the worst part of having sex with Jesus?
He’s always wanting to come into your heart.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
| Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
| No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2702 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
| A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3217 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
| Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1593 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
| There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2499 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
| Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18295 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
| A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4647 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
| Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9364 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
| Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1981 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
| Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4778 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
| Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3017 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
|
Users browsing this thread: 5 Guest(s)
