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RE: joke time
June 10, 2020 at 7:04 am
(This post was last modified: June 10, 2020 at 7:23 am by Little lunch.)
Old McDonald had Tourette's,
E-I-E-I-Cunt.
My girlfriend says I never follow through on projects so I shat on her stamp collection.
I went to buy a Xmas tree and the guy asked if I was going to put it up myself.
I said, 'No, I'll probably put it in the living room'.
- Gary Delany. :-)
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RE: joke time
June 10, 2020 at 9:01 am
‘Do you drink?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you smoke?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you take drugs?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you have children?’
‘We have two.’
‘Tried that twice, did you?’
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
June 10, 2020 at 1:49 pm
(June 10, 2020 at 9:01 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: ‘Do you drink?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you smoke?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you take drugs?’
‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’
‘Do you have children?’
‘We have two.’
‘Tried that twice, did you?’
Boru
The old ones are the best.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: joke time
June 10, 2020 at 4:49 pm
It’s even older that that. Mine was a version of one from ‘The Goon Show’.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
June 10, 2020 at 10:54 pm
(June 10, 2020 at 2:03 am)Little lunch Wrote: She's definitely not your average wonam.
Eh? Is she a rug numcher?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
June 11, 2020 at 9:37 pm
Me, on the phone: "Hi, are your parents there?"
Kid in orphanage: "Stop calling me!"
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
June 12, 2020 at 7:19 pm
(June 11, 2020 at 9:37 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, on the phone: "Hi, are your parents there?"
Kid in orphanage: "Stop calling me!"
Anybody ever told you that you're one sick fuck?
...and that you should aspire to be two?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
June 13, 2020 at 12:39 am
I've heard that Alabama's pregnancy rate has hit an all time low since Covid has been preventing family reunions.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
June 14, 2020 at 8:54 pm
Me, "This is hard for me to say."
Patient, "It can't be."
Me, "What?"
Patient, "This. You literally just said it."
Me, "You have three weeks to live and I honestly wish it was less."
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
June 14, 2020 at 8:59 pm
(June 14, 2020 at 8:54 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, "This is hard for me to say."
Patient, "It can't be."
Me, "What?"
Patient, "This. You literally just said it."
Me, "You have three weeks to live and I honestly wish it was less."
Surgeon’s motto: ‘There is nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.’ (MPFC)
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
