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Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:02 am

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joke time
RE: joke time
Old McDonald had Tourette's,
E-I-E-I-Cunt.

My girlfriend says I never follow through on projects so I shat on her stamp collection.

I went to buy a Xmas tree and the guy asked if I was going to put it up myself.
I said, 'No, I'll probably put it in the living room'.

- Gary Delany. :-)




Reply
RE: joke time
‘Do you drink?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you smoke?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you take drugs?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you have children?’

‘We have two.’

‘Tried that twice, did you?’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 10, 2020 at 9:01 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: ‘Do you drink?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you smoke?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you take drugs?’

‘Nope. Tried it once, didn’t like it.’

‘Do you have children?’

‘We have two.’

‘Tried that twice, did you?’

Boru

The old ones are the best.






You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Reply
RE: joke time
It’s even older that that. Mine was a version of one from ‘The Goon Show’.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 10, 2020 at 2:03 am)Little lunch Wrote: She's definitely not your average wonam.

Eh?  Is she a rug numcher?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Reply
RE: joke time
Me, on the phone: "Hi, are your parents there?"

Kid in orphanage: "Stop calling me!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 11, 2020 at 9:37 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, on the phone: "Hi, are your parents there?"

Kid in orphanage: "Stop calling me!"

Anybody ever told you that you're one sick fuck?

...and that you should aspire to be two?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Reply
RE: joke time
I've heard that Alabama's pregnancy rate has hit an all time low since Covid has been preventing family reunions.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Me, "This is hard for me to say."

Patient, "It can't be."

Me, "What?"

Patient, "This. You literally just said it."

Me, "You have three weeks to live and I honestly wish it was less."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 14, 2020 at 8:54 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, "This is hard for me to say."

Patient, "It can't be."

Me, "What?"

Patient, "This.  You literally just said it."

Me, "You have three weeks to live and I honestly wish it was less."

Surgeon’s motto: ‘There is nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.’ (MPFC)

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply



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