Why do you hate God?

[Belacqua]

You can make any argument you want, but the readers  literally took the fantastic claims as real.

Some of "the readers" did and some of them didn't. You seem unaware of how many did not. 

Are you aware that the ancient world was actually much more comfortable with allegorical interpretation than modern people are? That hero-narratives, like the gospels, were intended to teach a message and not convey journalism? 

It was much more the case back then.

What you assert without evidence I can dismiss without evidence.

Augustine was not one of the writers of the bible in any case. He lived way after the fact.

That's right. Fourth to fifth century. And comfortable with non-literal readings.