(July 5, 2021 at 9:56 pm)AkiraTheFighter24 Wrote: ^ That's horrible. Luckily you were there for him. My Dad knew that I was gay and told my mom. She didn't believe him but he had no problem with it. I wouldn't find out all of this until after he died and after I came out to my mom. The next day I came out she told me about it. Looking back, it made sense. The way my dad would be around me. He would always ask me what's wrong, that I always looked sad. And being a teenage boy who's confused and afraid to talk about it I'd get mad at him for asking. It's sad that he was patiently waiting for me to come out on my own and that he never got hear it. But I'm glad my mom still liked me, she just needed a long time to come to terms with it.
Oh he was shaking with fear for the big reveal. As a father, I knew something was coming, just not sure what. He was 14 at the time (now a full grown adult).
He was rather deflated when I responded with "OK, you are your very own person. No problemo." And that response provoked more meaningful conversation once the fear element was removed from the equation.
I know why he felt that fear. In person, I am direct and quite vociferous in my opinions. I am also a straight man all my life and make no bones about it. He came expecting a fight and didn't expect acceptance and inclusion. But that is what he got.
He is also an unexpected kid in many ways. He staged a rebellion with my ex-wife when it came to Sunday mass. When he told me about that I said "You did who in the what now?". The hex tried to go for "Well at least attend once in a while" and the response was no fucking way.
My response? No fucking way, pardon me while I cheer.
So I find myself with one catholic ex wife and two godless heathen children. Did I do that? Maybe I led by example. Both knew it was ok to be an atheist, or gay or whatever. I never told them so explicitly. But perhaps my tolerance somehow rubbed off by example. I don't know the answer to that.
But my son, as much as it was difficult for him had an easy road. On foot of his trajectory, I ended up getting trained and manning support lines for teens coming out. It is much worse out on the frontlines. I cannot say much, because minors are involved. Legals and all. But I can say I have had to get boots on the ground for interventions. It is not pretty.
I still go back to what my daughter said (and still says) "I don't see the problem, it's the same fucking person."
