(December 14, 2009 at 8:33 am)chatpilot Wrote: I considered my departure from belief in the biblical god and the practice of religion as a sort of awakening. I have been an atheist going on about 15 years now, and the more I study it the more I become disappointed with myself for being duped. Because of my great curiosity I always felt oppressed. There were just some questions that you are not supposed to ask your minister without incurring some sort of chastisement, or being told how the devil is trying to destroy your faith through your mind.
I was not content with such euphemisms as "god works in mysterious ways" or "who are you to question god" etc. In fact, these euphemisms made me even more curious and in fact more daring in the pursuit of truth when it came to the things of god. Becoming an atheist was a long slow process for me, One that I embarked on with great fear and trepidation. It wasn't till I came across a book whose title eludes me at this time written by a minister in California that was in total agreement with me on most of the so called charismatic gifts and manifestations of the holy spirit. My greatest doubts began there since in our church the cultivation of the gifts of the spirit was encouraged and practiced.
The first thing I did when I left the church was to question all of the so called manifestations of the holy spirit that I had practiced and witnessed myself in my ministry. I read books on hypnosis, psychology, psychiatry, philosophy, mythology, etc. Searching for answers. To my surprise I found many to most of my personal experiences. The so called experiencing god in my view is subjective and unreliable. Feelings and emotions are subjective and cannot be in any way constituted as proof of the existence of god. This is most evident in other cultures and religions worldwide where they practice spirit possession etc.
Interesting story Chatpilot, did your life change much outside of church?
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