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Jokes section ?
#44
RE: Jokes section ?
How many Religiholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Amish:.............................. What’s a light bulb?

Baptist:........................... At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.

Charismatic:................ Only 1. Their hands are already in the air.

Episcopalian:................ 3. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Judaism:......................... ? Not now. We will wait until K-Mart put light bulbs on sale. Then we have to say berachot over it.

Lutheran:....................... None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodist:.................... Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass around.

Mormon:.......................... 5. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it properly.

Nazarene:..................... 6. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Pentecostal:................ 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray for protection against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterian:.............. None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic:........ None. Candles only. Put a little something in the box.

Scientologist:............. Tom Cruise. We may get lucky and he’ll fall off the ladder, or will be kidnapped by Xenu.

Unitarian:...................... ? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted – all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
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...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
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NO MA'AM
[Image: attemptingtogiveadamnc.gif]
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Messages In This Thread
Jokes section ? - by Godless - September 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - September 27, 2009 at 3:48 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - September 28, 2009 at 3:34 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - September 28, 2009 at 4:14 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Godless - September 28, 2009 at 5:11 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Retorth - September 28, 2009 at 6:27 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - September 28, 2009 at 10:24 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - September 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Rhizomorph13 - September 28, 2009 at 4:02 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Violet - September 28, 2009 at 4:13 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Rhizomorph13 - September 28, 2009 at 5:30 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - September 28, 2009 at 8:07 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Violet - September 28, 2009 at 8:17 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Rhizomorph13 - September 29, 2009 at 12:29 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Violet - September 29, 2009 at 3:12 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - September 29, 2009 at 8:56 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Amphora - September 29, 2009 at 1:29 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by lilphil1989 - October 5, 2009 at 8:05 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - October 1, 2009 at 6:33 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - October 1, 2009 at 6:37 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Retorth - October 5, 2009 at 8:36 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by fr0d0 - October 5, 2009 at 9:33 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Retorth - October 5, 2009 at 9:43 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Nancy08 - October 9, 2009 at 3:30 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Zen Badger - January 26, 2010 at 2:47 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by fr0d0 - October 9, 2009 at 5:05 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - October 9, 2009 at 5:21 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by theVOID - October 9, 2009 at 6:44 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by fr0d0 - October 9, 2009 at 6:55 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - October 9, 2009 at 7:48 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - October 24, 2009 at 11:29 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Amphora - November 14, 2009 at 2:43 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - January 22, 2010 at 2:57 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - January 25, 2010 at 7:24 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by theVOID - January 26, 2010 at 2:54 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - January 26, 2010 at 11:51 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - January 26, 2010 at 3:44 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Darwinian - January 26, 2010 at 4:38 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by tackattack - January 30, 2010 at 8:09 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - January 30, 2010 at 10:57 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - February 3, 2010 at 4:32 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 3, 2010 at 12:54 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - February 21, 2010 at 5:40 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 21, 2010 at 7:34 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by tackattack - February 23, 2010 at 1:37 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - February 23, 2010 at 5:46 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - February 23, 2010 at 5:47 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - February 23, 2010 at 5:49 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by theVOID - February 23, 2010 at 6:01 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 23, 2010 at 10:46 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 23, 2010 at 4:30 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by theVOID - February 23, 2010 at 10:01 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 23, 2010 at 10:11 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 24, 2010 at 4:19 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by tackattack - February 24, 2010 at 4:37 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 24, 2010 at 8:42 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by tackattack - February 24, 2010 at 5:50 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 24, 2010 at 9:40 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 25, 2010 at 9:15 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 25, 2010 at 4:31 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 25, 2010 at 10:16 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 26, 2010 at 4:27 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - February 26, 2010 at 4:36 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 26, 2010 at 4:40 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 26, 2010 at 9:27 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 26, 2010 at 3:46 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by jesusfetusfajitafishsticks - February 28, 2010 at 12:51 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Samson - February 28, 2010 at 6:33 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by downbeatplumb - February 28, 2010 at 7:00 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Autumnlicious - March 4, 2010 at 7:07 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - March 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - March 4, 2010 at 1:24 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - March 4, 2010 at 1:49 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Autumnlicious - March 4, 2010 at 4:58 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by downbeatplumb - March 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Dotard - February 28, 2010 at 11:49 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - February 28, 2010 at 12:11 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Eilonnwy - March 4, 2010 at 12:38 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - March 4, 2010 at 4:00 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Tiberius - March 4, 2010 at 9:07 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by Autumnlicious - March 4, 2010 at 10:31 pm
RE: Jokes section ? - by leo-rcc - March 5, 2010 at 4:45 am
RE: Jokes section ? - by Overmars - March 6, 2010 at 4:03 am

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