RE: Treat believers like six year olds
January 19, 2015 at 1:28 pm
(This post was last modified: January 19, 2015 at 1:33 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
-At some point we stop treating children -as children- and expect a little more (especially when they become capable of or empowered to act as an adult). While we might use this as a strategy to reduce our immediate frustration with the individual telling ghost stories...it won't help at all to stop the larger frustration of having those ghost stories impact every waking moment of the rest of our lives when said dolt isn't in front of us....and it may even provide continued support for the same.
My son used to blame every bad thing he did on the cat. For a time, I just smiled...then....I smiled and asked him "oh, my goodness....and then what did the cat do?". Eventually, I started to ask him what he was doing when the cat was doing all of this bad shit, what he thought about the cat, and what the cat had done. Now I just stare at him and immediately demand that he stop fibbing (unless it;s a really damned good story). I think that play acting was/is good for him, but only as a step on the way to a different place - particularly because he wasn't likely to have formed a very thorough concept of responsibility or even reality (and that might still need some work). When he was telling me the story..there's a pretty good chance he believed it. It was an outlet for him, and my strategy was a way to reduce the tension between us mostly for my benefit....but it did nothing to stop him from -actually doing bad shit-.
He's only 3 ( I suppose i should start getting used to calling him 4, he has a birthday shortly). I think it's safe to expect more from anyone who's older than my son, and I don't think it's very good idea to continue letting him get away with shit just because he wants to tell me a story about how the cat did it. I also don't think that a reduction in my immediate level of frustration is worth the price we'll both pay if this behavior continued.
So, when someone tells me that they think a ghost told them to do, or not do something...and that on the basis of this ghost story, they will be leveraging their very adult rights and abilities to achieve the effect laid out by said ghost. I'm not going to pretend as though they are children, except insomuch as I stare at them and demand that they stop telling ghost stories immediately.
My son used to blame every bad thing he did on the cat. For a time, I just smiled...then....I smiled and asked him "oh, my goodness....and then what did the cat do?". Eventually, I started to ask him what he was doing when the cat was doing all of this bad shit, what he thought about the cat, and what the cat had done. Now I just stare at him and immediately demand that he stop fibbing (unless it;s a really damned good story). I think that play acting was/is good for him, but only as a step on the way to a different place - particularly because he wasn't likely to have formed a very thorough concept of responsibility or even reality (and that might still need some work). When he was telling me the story..there's a pretty good chance he believed it. It was an outlet for him, and my strategy was a way to reduce the tension between us mostly for my benefit....but it did nothing to stop him from -actually doing bad shit-.
He's only 3 ( I suppose i should start getting used to calling him 4, he has a birthday shortly). I think it's safe to expect more from anyone who's older than my son, and I don't think it's very good idea to continue letting him get away with shit just because he wants to tell me a story about how the cat did it. I also don't think that a reduction in my immediate level of frustration is worth the price we'll both pay if this behavior continued.
So, when someone tells me that they think a ghost told them to do, or not do something...and that on the basis of this ghost story, they will be leveraging their very adult rights and abilities to achieve the effect laid out by said ghost. I'm not going to pretend as though they are children, except insomuch as I stare at them and demand that they stop telling ghost stories immediately.
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