RE: Jokes section ?
September 27, 2009 at 3:48 pm
(This post was last modified: September 27, 2009 at 3:49 pm by Overmars.)
A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!"
The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."
"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!"
The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"
"Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate."
The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No Shit!"
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"
St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."
God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."
"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house."
"I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!"
The Reverend replied, "Sir, please, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!"
"Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that I thought it was so damn good, that I put $5,000 in the collection plate."
The Reverend's eyes opened wide as he remarked, "No Shit!"
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"
St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."
God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."
"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
Personally, it's not God I dislike, it's his fan club I can't stand.
