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10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm
10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
by Daniel Florien
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Except it killing you...
9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
Except it makes people choose poorly on who they have sex with and how they have sex...
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
But it's caused enough backyard wars to equal a one big war, at least...
7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
Is it just me or wouldn't the world be a better place if beer replaced religion. We couldn't solved alcoholism by now, religiousity is a hard one to squash.
6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
You'd be surprised what heavily drunken people do with their newly opened beers...
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
Or we just havn't heard about it..beer has been around for a long time..
4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.
Very true.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.
Again, very true point.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
Best point so far, starting to agree more.
1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
Except AA is a religious program...dun dun dunnnnnnnnn
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm
One reason beer is better than Jesus... it's beer.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 10:17 pm
Jesus won't get you drunk.
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 10:22 pm
What, a bloke with blood made out of wine?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm
I have studied the Bible and the theology behind Christianity for many years. I have been to many churches. I have walked the depth and the breadth of the religion and, as a result of this, I have a lot of bullshit to scrape off the bottom of my shoes. ~Ziploc Surprise
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RE: 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
February 20, 2012 at 12:12 am
Beer doesn't mind if you like other beers (polybeerism).
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