10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

[Rokcet Scientist]

10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
by Daniel Florien

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.

6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

[Cosmic Ape]

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

Except it killing you...

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.

Except it makes people choose poorly on who they have sex with and how they have sex...

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

But it's caused enough backyard wars to equal a one big war, at least...

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.

Is it just me or wouldn't the world be a better place if beer replaced religion. We couldn't solved alcoholism by now, religiousity is a hard one to squash.

6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.

You'd be surprised what heavily drunken people do with their newly opened beers...

5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

Or we just havn't heard about it..beer has been around for a long time..

4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.

Very true.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.

Again, very true point.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

Best point so far, starting to agree more.

1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Except AA is a religious program...dun dun dunnnnnnnnn

[Rev. Rye]

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Well, Amy Winehouse was killed by getting off alcohol.

9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.


8. Beer has never caused a major war.
Just look at Prohibition, and by that, I meant the one that lasted from 1919-1933 in America.

7. They don’t force Beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
Ever been to a High School kegger?

6. When you have a Beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second Beer.
These are most certainly true.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can’t lie to you.
Of course. They leave that to the ads:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsBa-bSGlvU

2. You can prove you have a Beer.
That may be, but how long will it be there?

1. If you’ve devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
But hey, for all the faults of The God Delusion, there's an appendix for support groups to help you quit religion, if you're into that sort of thing.

[Cyberman]

One reason beer is better than Jesus... it's beer.

[Jackalope]

Jesus won't get you drunk.

[Cyberman]

What, a bloke with blood made out of wine?

[Minimalist]

11. Beer is real.

[Zen Badger]

Jesus won't get you drunk.

But the effects are very similar and at least with beer you'll be sober in the morning

[Ziploc Surprise]

Jesus won't get you drunk.

But the Holy Spirit can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHhZZ0tNvBw

Disclaimer: no, I don't believe that the HS exists and is really causing this woman to do what she is doing.

[Jackalope]

Beer doesn't mind if you like other beers (polybeerism).