Jokes

[Kyuuketsuki]

I'm sure even you religious folks will like this one

There were two prawns, James and Christian, swimming along the bottom of the ocean. James accidentally rubs up against an old lantern and whoosh, a genie appears and grants James two wishes. After a moment's thought James decides that he wants to become a shark so as to gain the respect of all the creatures of the sea.

...

Whoosh.............

...

James becomes a shark and swims off.

Two weeks later James is upset. All of his old friends are now afraid of him and his life is miserable. He decides to use his second wish, and he wishes to be a prawn once again.

...

Whoosh.............

...

Now a prawn again, James swims away to look for his mate Christian.

When he arrives at Christian's house he knocks on the door and shouts out for Christian.

"Go away", says Christian, "you're a shark and you'll just eat me".

..

..

..

..

..

..

[Scroll down ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[Scroll down a bit more ...]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[A bit more ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[Just a bit more ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[Not long now ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[You know you're going to love this ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

[Nearly there ... ]

..

..

..

..

..

..

"No I won't", shouts James, "I'm a prawn again Christian".

Groan!



Kyu

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Dr George Abernathy,locally famous proctologist goes into his local bar,where his friend Richard Chamberlain makes him a spiffy almond daiquiri every night.

Sadly, tonight,the bar tender has run out of almond essence, so he uses hickory.

Dr Abernathy takes a sip.It seems a little different,so he asks;










Keep going






a bit more










"Is this an almond daquiri dick?'

To which Dick replies






Keep going









Just at bit more

















"No,that's a hickory daquiri doc"



Boom Boom


The last time I told that joke was in 1972. It doesn't seem to have aged at all.

[Edwardo Piet]

@ Kyu - I can't believe I found that last joke of yours funny...that's so sad...truly sad.

Ok I've some jokes form Rik Mayall LOL (they've very Mayallish..lmao)

"Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he couldn't get his nob out of the chicken!"

"What does a man with a two foot cock have for breakfast? Well this morning I had a boiled egg."

So Rik Mayall... (cos they're Rik Mayall jokes...).

EvF

[moleque]

Why do cannibals stay so thin?

They only eat crackers.

[Kyuuketsuki]

Why do cannibals stay so thin?

They only eat crackers.

LOL

Child: "Mummy, I don't like Daddy!"

Mother: "That's all right dear, just leave him to the side of the plate!"

Kyu

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Why do cannibals stay so thin?

They only eat crackers.

LOL

Child: "Mummy, I don't like Daddy!"

Mother: "That's all right dear, just leave him to the side of the plate!"

Kyu

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Meatball]

What does the cannibal get when he's late for dinner?

The cold shoulder.

[Overmars]

Why are O.B. tampons called like that?

Because when she inserts it you hear a "Oooo" and when she gets it out and sees it you hear a "Bleah".