Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 12, 2022, 5:34 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Implications of the Atheistic Position
#11
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
(July 30, 2012 at 9:47 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Hah, when I say try again I don't mean ask her out the next day and keep persisting like that ad infinitum. Obviously the answer most likely won't change.

I just want to suggest that you should not focus your efforts on changing yourself for anybody.

The fantasy of your relationship with her is probably most likely substandard to the reality of it. Just make sure you keep an open eye for someone who appreciates you. Self-esteem is a bitch, but out of billions of women, theres going to be a substantial number who once knowing you, will be thinking yumyum without any strings or conditions attached.
Self-authenticating private evidence is useless, because it is indistinguishable from the illusion of it. ― Kel, Kelosophy Blog

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The f**king janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. Throughout history every mystery. Ever solved has turned out to be. Not Magic.
― Tim Minchin, Storm
Reply
#12
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
Fap one last time.....then forget about it.

(and, on a semi-related note, this is how any end-of-relationship should be handled, though obviously, if you are engaged in an actual relationship, you giver the ole good bye one-two....lol)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#13
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
What you get out depends on what you put in.

You guys are too pessimistic for my liking. I'm a young 21 year old guy with my whole life ahead of me. I'll put the effort into the things where I want to see growth and I'll see them through. Most of you have in one way or another wrongly analysed my situation with this girl. You have no idea what she's like or even ME for that matter, so who are you to say if it's going to work out eventually or not?

I won't let your words get in the way of what's physically possible for me. The whole point of living as an atheist to me is that ultimately I am in control of my future, with appropriate limitations of course. So why should I listen to the negativity when I can just keep working on who I am in all areas so that I become more attractive?
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
Reply
#14
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
(July 30, 2012 at 10:18 am)FallentoReason Wrote: What you get out depends on what you put in.

You guys are too pessimistic for my liking. I'm a young 21 year old guy with my whole life ahead of me. I'll put the effort into the things where I want to see growth and I'll see them through. Most of you have in one way or another wrongly analysed my situation with this girl. You have no idea what she's like or even ME for that matter, so who are you to say if it's going to work out eventually or not?

I won't let your words get in the way of what's physically possible for me. The whole point of living as an atheist to me is that ultimately I am in control of my future, with appropriate limitations of course. So why should I listen to the negativity when I can just keep working on who I am in all areas so that I become more attractive?

most people are too pessimistic for your liking because maybe we've been 21 and are trying to save you some time and heartbreak.

given that, i would say improving yourself is always good, but doing it with the hope of getting her back is going to be a long road with brick wall at the end. ymmv tho, take it for what it's worth. but continue to get better. if you want her back, go the indirect route. work on whatever it is you think will make you better (things that you've heard you could improve from more than just her) and then go get someone else. women tend to sniff out guys that are already taken because they think he must be good enough for SOMEone at least. lol. (this is all my observation, none of it could in fact be true to anyone but me) she may see you and want to chat again, perhaps she will and at that point, you get the pleasure of choice.

there's a million things you could do, just do something and don't mope over her - that's not attractive to anyone.
they can land a rover on mars, yet they still have to stick a human finger up my ass to do a prostate exam?! - ricky gervais
Reply
#15
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
FallentoReason,

I don't really need to understand your personal situation to give you some general advice, which was what I was trying to do. You see, I am a 37 year old male and suffered greatly in the dating scene because I didn't listen to my friends who had been there. Some of their advice was terrible but the general thrust was spot on. You are not some special snowflake with some magical situation that will blow our minds; you fit within a bell curve of the same crap we have seen for many years. So I'm going to say a few things and then I will bow out unless you want some additional advice:

1. Yes, it totally could work out with the female in your situation; I HAVE seen the hail mary pass connect and weird situations have come together to form a relationship. I have also seen most of those hail mary connections devolve into an ugly break up (Like most relationships), so a 5% potential to connect yields a 95% to break up.

2. My advice would be to go out, do things you like, and find a female you are into; go up to her as soon as possible and express your interest specifically to exclude a friend relationship. Something like, "Hey, can I get your number, I'd like to ask you out on a date." Slip date in there so she knows you don't want to just be a friend. If she says she just wants to be friends tell her you have enough friends and you were hoping to date her then kindly move on being upbeat and nice. Seriously, if you really want a girlfriend, it is about chemistry so you need to play the field and meet many women until you find the right one.

3. You need to make her tell you "no" to a date, then move on once you get it. Take the path of least resistance and find someone who will chase you once you show interest in her. Be the candle not the moth.

Anyway, like NoMoreFaith said, "If you run into a wall, the solution is not to get up and run into it again." But it is your wall, your head, and your blood; so feel free to tell us all we just don't understand your situation.

P.S. I forgot the most important thing. DON'T be there for her, unless she seems to be chasing you.
Reply
#16
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
Ironically, you'll probably find that if you found yourself in a happy relationship with someone who appreciates you now romantically, would be exactly the sort of thing that would make you more attractive, seeing you in the boyfriend role.

BTW, I would suggest it is optimistic to say there are many who would love you as a boyfriend, rather than pessimistic. I would say its pessimistic to think that this is the only girl for you and you need to change to suit her.

Just sayin'.

It's free advice, take it or leave it. Either I'm a curmudgeonly 30-something who takes delight in crushing your dreams and trying to stop you from reaching your potential, or I'm a random guy on the internet who has experience in a similar situation a decade ago and providing my take on things. Your call on how you interpret it. At least consider that I have responded not with any intent to crush your ambitions.
Self-authenticating private evidence is useless, because it is indistinguishable from the illusion of it. ― Kel, Kelosophy Blog

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there’s a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school. They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The f**king janitor or the dude who runs the waterslide. Throughout history every mystery. Ever solved has turned out to be. Not Magic.
― Tim Minchin, Storm
Reply
#17
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
I appreciate that Rhiz. I feel like that advice describes a somewhat desperate person though. I only agree when you said 'be the candle not the moth'. Working on who I am only makes the candle shine brighter.

I put myself out there all the time. I play gigs often with the band and we actually just recently got accepted to play a huge festival alongside international acts. This girl lives for live music and I'm going to show her why I'm better than any other musician she's hoping to get with. You don't know the situation. Either way, I really do appreciate the advice you've given me, but I got up today and I'm not calling it quits just because someone on the other side of the world said so.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
Reply
#18
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
Often times calling it quits is what potentiates a girls interest in you. This is why I added the part, "DON'T be there for her."
Reply
#19
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
NoMoreFaith Wrote:BTW, I would suggest it is optimistic to say there are many who would love you as a boyfriend, rather than pessimistic. I would say its pessimistic to think that this is the only girl for you and you need to change to suit her.

Oh, snap!

(July 30, 2012 at 10:59 am)Rhizomorph13 Wrote: Often times calling it quits is what potentiates a girls interest in you. This is why I added the part, "DON'T be there for her."

Play hard-to-get eh? She did say she didn't want to lose our friendship, which means I will still be seeing her. That allows for me to switch up the tactics.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
Reply
#20
RE: Implications of the Atheistic Position
Yeah dude. Everyone here pretty much has the right idea. You're not going to "win the girl" here. If she rejected you, shrug, and go cast your line again. Plenty of fish in the sea, you're gonna catch one eventually. Likelihood is actually you'll catch dozens if you just keep casting, whereas if you specifically put the lure for that one specific fish, you're never gonna catch anything. Waste of time.

Also, being a nice guy doesn't work if you're going for a "traditional" girl. But it will work if you're looking for a girl who is compatible with you. Nice guys do not belong with shallow bitches; we belong with the sweet, cute little nerdy girls who invariably are a lot sexier anyways.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  A question about atheistic “beliefs” (opinions, guesses, etc.) Frank Apisa 252 6221 June 30, 2021 at 6:51 pm
Last Post: Rahn127
  Agnosticism IS the most dishonest position Klorophyll 575 21942 March 18, 2020 at 9:24 pm
Last Post: Mr Greene
  Atheistic calendar Interaktive 38 1956 December 26, 2019 at 3:43 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Make up your own atheistic quote Transcended Dimensions 56 7538 October 30, 2017 at 9:04 am
Last Post: brewer
  Could Gods hypothetically be atheistic scientists? causal code 5 1797 August 24, 2017 at 12:17 am
Last Post: Astonished
  Atheistic religions Der/die AtheistIn 21 5269 August 10, 2017 at 1:36 pm
Last Post: Harry Nevis
  Why Anarcho-Capitalism Is a Canard and Its Implications for Atheism log 110 7029 January 19, 2017 at 11:26 pm
Last Post: TheRealJoeFish
  The second most atheistic group in the world is... Gawdzilla Sama 15 2801 December 2, 2016 at 3:19 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  In need of a more humbleness. Why condemning the Theistic position makes no sense. Mystic 141 18533 September 22, 2014 at 7:59 am
Last Post: Chas
  Atheistic Dogma- Scientific Fundamentalism sswhateverlove 315 33361 September 20, 2014 at 3:49 pm
Last Post: Whateverist



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)