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RE: Coming home from the military
November 5, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Man, I dunno. My brother's a lifer. Dude was practically born with the rifle in his hands, all they had to do was give him the uniform and the tabs and the targets. Ever hear that song "Bad Company" by Five Finger Death Punch? That's pretty much him. Him entering civilian life would be impossible and I don't think he ever intends to try.
I know what you mean about the transition, though. My brother's become a lot more distant, less empathetic, and more aggressive than he was before. He got mugged once and the guy who mugged him ended up in a hospital with brain damage.
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RE: Coming home from the military
November 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I think some sort of counseling or support group would be helpful. I wouldn't be pushy about it, but if I saw him struggling, I'd remind him that there are lots of other men and women going through the same thing and he is not alone. I'd also have a list of numbers and addresses/meeting times on hand for when/if he shows an interest.
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RE: Coming home from the military
November 5, 2012 at 7:57 pm
(This post was last modified: November 5, 2012 at 8:15 pm by jonb.)
The brits help for ex-servicemen is laughable. If you brothers training is similar to the paras which is the british regiment I have experience of (at a distance), he has got a very difficult journey ahead. In special forces the troops tend to be trained to meet problems with aggression. This is what makes them so capable on the battle field, but when they are away from it and the 'esprit de corps' small aggravations can quickly mount up to set of the trained response. When I was a kid and most people my age can remember being told stories in their childhood of children being killed by their ex-service fathers after waking them up suddenly. In a way it was easier after WWII as there were so many ex-servicemen about so most people knew boundaries, where as little leeway is given for these men and women now. It was one of the great problems Vietnam veterans had that, they were taken directly from the war and dumped home, without the space and time being given to learn a different approach to life.
My advice to you, encourage him to give himself time to adapt, that setbacks are not important, and you to listen to his stories about the marines so that he can feel proud of where he was, and build on that into being proud of who he is.
Oh and I want to add his attitude will be right then lets get it done, and he will tend to rush into things. If he is thinking about going back into education, that will be very sedentary and after a physical lifestyle, and that alone will be very hard to adapt to, encourage him to take time off before starting if that is possible. Just deciding things for himself rather than carrying out orders is enough of a struggle to overcome. Slowly slowly catchy monkey, one bit at a time.