Telling Religious Family About Nonbelief

[Kayenneh]

I'm really lucky, because my parents are atheist, my sister pantheist and my cousin and best friend a pagan, so coming out to them wasn't really a problem. As for my grandparents, well, my maternal ones aren't religious and I guess they'll find out that something's 'amiss' when I don't get married in church. The rest of my friends are mostly atheists too, with the exception of a few christians and muslims, but they all know and we respect each other's point of view and really rarely talk about religion.

But it's up to you and your hubby to decide if it's a good thing to come out to your relatives and friends. Sometimes it might backfire, sometimes not, and you two are the best judges of that.

[sarcasticface]

lol when you asked for stories I don't think you thought you'd get this chapter, but hey, I don't get to share it enough.

Haha no, it was very well written!
Part of me would want to tell my friends and family, because I've always been the type to be open and honest. But this is different; for my family and friends, it's a matter of life or death. I would hate to make them worry about the condition of my soul, but I also hate hiding who I am. I also think, if I were honest with them, maybe they would eventually listen to my point of view and be free from religion...but that might just be wishful thinking.

Maybe after a while theyll find out on their own. lol

[Phish]

Hey there, I'm new to this forum. I know there's probably another thread about this same subject somewhere around here.

Me and my husband kind of decided not to tell our family and friends about our non belief in Christianity. What is your opinion on this?

Do you think it's a good idea to tell your friends and family that you are now an atheist?

Also, tell me the story of when you told your family and friends...

OR

Tell me what it's been like to NOT tell your closest family or friends.

I'm very interested in this.

yes,the truth will get out one day so its better to give it away sooner than if you are holding it in. Try reading god is not great by christopher hitchens,so that you will be ready for debates.

It's an great book anyway good luck

[Fruity]

(reading all the stories and posts I feel like giving everyone a hug! )

I know what you mean about not wanting to worry them. My sister is the only one that I feel bad for because I know she really cares about my
"salvation". Even if I tried to keep it from her, though, how could I? When she starts talking about spiritual things I dare not fake that I agree. It's just that the way things have been in my family, it's impossible to not have to put on a show to avoid telling the truth.

[TromboneAtheist]

I think the minute I'm out of my parent's house, I'll come out. I'm kinda young, so I'm just gonna bide my time. If it happens to slip out that I'm an Atheist, then whatever. I think my parents would be understanding.

[The Grand Nudger]

My folks found out when we decided not to baptize our first. They weren't great catholics - translation - idiots - but they were unhappy that there wasn't going to be a party.

I don't think they gave fuck-all about jesus.

We had the party anyway and skipped the attempted drowning of the infant. No one seemed to miss the water - everyone enjoyed the whiskey.

[Angrboda]

My family consists largely of a bunch of drug addled Marxists, so religion wasn't a big deal in my clan.



Just kidding. I'm not someone you likely want to model your behavior upon. Fearlessness is, according to the traditional iconography, a gift of the goddess, though perhaps a little more caution here and there along the way would have been beneficial. My "coming out" was rather spontaneous. My mother and I were screaming at each other for some forgotten reason, and she hauled off and told me to go to hell. And so I shot back, "No, you go to hell — I don't believe any of that God shit." And the deed was done. Given that my family is basically liberal Christian in their beliefs and practices, and being that they were already firmly persuaded of the opinion that I was evil incarnate, it didn't change matters much.

My sisters still attempt to coerce me into saying Grace every Thanksgiving, and I usually oblige. Though I wonder if that practice will continue. Last Thanksgiving, my sisters pressured me yet again, so I solemnly bowed my head and said, "Thank you God for not existing."
(My sisters groaned. My brother-in-law chuckled. He's an atheist.)

We'll see come next fall.


Oh! Oh! Oh! And there was something else I wanted to say, but perhaps it's a bit maudlin. By all means, be pragmatic, but I can't help but wonder if there isn't a parallel to being in love. You could choose not to reveal your feelings, for fear of the consequences, but who would suggest that you should?

[ATL]

I wish you luck, hope you make right choice, which ever it is.
I don't really have much to say on this. I guess Kayenneh had different situation even we live in same country. But to me it sometimes sounds like we don't.. I haven't come out, but I don't think I even can. And that's because I literally know like one person that I can for sure say believes in God and he's like my friend's friend's brother. But in nutshell I would say that here, nobody cares. Everyone keeps their views to theirself. I have guesses, but I can't say I know my parents religious views, my brothers religious views, my sisters religious views.

And even people who work with religion pretty usually understand to keep it theirself in public situations when there isn't really a need to bring it up. My old friends parent was missionary and I never heard him talk anything about religion when I was at their home or something that would be like extremely religious. Only things I remember was pray before eating and sometimes she used phrases like "bless you" that also not so religious persons might as well use. And if I would started to talk about religion with her I guess she would be like "Are you sure you want to talk about this" and so on.

But yea, I guess that doesn't really help you much. Here everyone is just quiet about their religion and I'm not sure if most of young people here even know what church they belong. I didn't before I was 15. And I got no idea what they believed in, to me religion have never meant anything more than bed-time stories at 5 years old. (I loved the stories, but I guess I missed religious point, when donkey was my favorite character in that 'Maria and Joseph went to Betlehemn-story'). But anyway may flying spaghetti monster have mercy on your souls and everything hopefully will go well to you!